Your outfit is culturally appropriative.
“It doesn’t look anything like Princess Leia’s slave outfit; furthermore, Alderaanian is not a recognized culture.”
I can’t believe you just said that.
“Funny how liberals defend that place, but no one wants to talk about Alderaanian-on-Alderaanian violence.”
So order is the highest priority?
“People have always demanded a strong man lead them.”
But that never ends well.
“People never end well.”
Is there sand in your cooch?
“Yes, there’s sand in my cooch.”
Is there life after death?
“Most people don’t have a life before death.”
All the lonely people.
“Yes.”
Where do they all come from?
“Winnipeg.”
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits to himself that he’s lost?
“Not all who wander are lost: some are just dipshits.”
All the dipshit people.
“Yes.”
Where do they all come from?
“They come from Winnipeg, too.”
It’s no Toronto.
“Now that’s a world-class city.”
Have you never been mellow?
“There’s no way to answer that question grammatically.”
Let’s date. I can overlook your hair.
“I cant overlook yours. Besides, I’m in a relationship.”
Oh, of course. What stupid bullshit is it this time? Bottlenose dolphin with an eyepatch?
“No.”
Unappealing rando?
“No.”
A high-out-of-his-mind Peter Shapiro and a bank-robbing unicorn?
“How’d you know?”
“GET AWAY FROM MY PRINCESS LEIA OR I’M BANNING YOU FROM MY BOWLING ALLEY!”
Settle down, Shapirstein.
“LAST WARNING, OR I START TELLING STORIES ABOUT BLUES TRAVELLER!”
TotD out.
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