Pitchfork is homophobic, as well as wrong. (From the 1975 movie; the song was written for the ’73 stage show.)
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Tag: pitchfork (Page 2 of 2)
Good things about Pitchfork: several of my innertube Rock Nerd friends write for them, and I would assume they get paid for their efforts; this is a wonderful thing.
Bad things about Pitchfork: everyfuckingthing else.
Go look at this. It’s their list of the 200 BEST EVAR songs of the 1970’s, and it’s a hoot. Ramones top out at #38, way under Patti Smith (who was the East Coast Jim Morrison), and Disco is as poorly represented as always, and–wait, what the fuck.
MY SWEET FUCKING LORD is on the list? That bearded weak link stole that song from The Chiffons! Jesus, Pitchfork. Okay, now you’ve got my full attention. We shall now go to randomized bullet points, and you brought this on yourself. (No one at Pitchfork is listening, as the new Frank Ocean album was just released, and it is three weeks long.)
- American Girl is only #158? Kiss my ass.
- Surrender is #142. Rockford’s favorite sons Cheap Trick are at #142, and Can is #54? NO ONE ACTUALLY LIKES CAN, PITCHFORK. Can is the German Captain Beefheart: if you don’t pretend to like them, you get thrown out of Bleecker Bob’s.
- “Hey, do you know anything about country music?”
- “No.”
- “Me, either.”
- “Just put a Dolly Parton song and a Waylon Jennings in there.”
- “Done.”
Oh, fuck this, this whole list is fucked: you can’t compare Side Two of Miles Davis’ Jack Johnson and She’s Gone by Hall & Oates, and there’s no New York Dolls–Personality Crisis has a better chorus than any of this bullshit–and Kate Bush is obviously a Gilda Radner character, Jesus, Pitchfork.
And now I’m bored and this is pointless; this list is illegitimate, provably so:
If Another Girl, Another Planet (1978) isn’t on the list, then the list is wrong.
AND, fuckers, AND what about paying a little respect to the King?
1972: his last great single. Far be it from me to suggest that Lou Reed didn’t deserve all 83 slots he was awarded on your list, but I truly think there might have been a little room for Elvis. Jesus, Pitchfork.
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Holy shit, there’s no Zevon. FUCK YOU, PITCHFORK.
There’s an article over at Pitchfork about the new Dead tribute album that the guys from The National (which is apparently a band) put together. Many musicians are asked about the Dead; they all respond by talking about themselves. (In their defense: if they weren’t talking about themselves, how else would you know they were in show biz?) The article also contains all of the following words or phrases, which are all mandated by Pitchfork editorial policy to appear in articles:
- Elegiac.
- Brooding.
- John Cale.
- “…tapes were the first internet…”
- Church studio.
- Bon Iyer.
- “…splitting his time between the Catskills and Paris.”
- “…dominant cultural mode of appropriation.”
- “It was an appropriation of the appropriation.”
A Collection of Articles from Around the Innertubes on Prince’s Passing:
- Let’s Over-Analyze the Guitar Solo from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Show Because it’s the Only Video Available.
- Did You Know Prince had Quirks?
- Prince was a Queer Artist, Even Though he was Completely, Unapologetically, and Vocally Homophobic.
- The Topic of This Website and Prince’s Tenuous Connection to It: Let’s Discuss!
- Some Famous Things Were Purple Last Night.
- What Does John Legend Think?
- Top Ten Prince Performances Online (Even Though Are Only Eight).
- Prince Hated Torrenting; Here’s His Best Work on The Pirate Bay.
- Let’s Look at Pictures of Women Prince Banged.
- Something About Percocet.
- The Minneapolis Music Scene Reacts, Including an Exclusive Interview with Soul Asylum’s Dave Pirner.
- Prince Wasn’t Actually Royalty. (Slate article.)
- You Won’t Believe the Bullshit People put up with from Prince: 31 Wacky Stories!
- My Important Feelings About Prince, by a White Guy in his 50’s.
- My Important Feelings About Prince, by a Black Guy in his 40’s.
- How Prince Influenced Kendrick Lamar. (Pitchfork article.)
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