Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: shakedown

Scary Garcia

October 30, 2020 / / 0 Comments

Pumpkin jam is not, as you might guess, the spookiest jam. It’s boysenberry. Boysenberry jam will sneak the fuck up behind you when you’re in the bathroom and do the routine where you close the medicine cabinet and BYAH there’s boysenberry over your shoulder. Also, I don’t think you can make jam out of a pumpkin. To be honest, I don’t even know if a pumpkin is a fruit or a vegetable. I know the Pump King is a vegetable. A horse kicked him in the face and now he just drools in the garden.

What the fuck did any of that mean? 

Made perfect sense.

It was like a random walk through the dictionary.

Don’t criticize me. I’m fragile.

Then lay down and stop bothering people.

I want them to watch the Shakedown nonsense with me. I’m gonna go on Twitter and make snarky comments about my betters.

Eat something.

I did!

Besides shmedibles.

Never!

A Bit On Bacon

July 26, 2016 / / 10 Comments

heady bacon cheese

Everybody needs to stop it with the bacon. Liking bacon is not a hobby, and it’s not an aspect of your personality, and it doesn’t need to be written about or talked about and it certainly doesn’t need to be tattooed anywhere.

Also, Siracha tastes like a Vietnamese man sneezing in your face.

Grilled cheese is delicious, though, but you can’t get fancy: Wonder bread and Kraft American cheese makes the headiest grilled cheese sandwiches.

Used To Be The Heart Of Town

May 17, 2012 / / 2 Comments

Did you know about this website? It leads you to the utter GENIUS that is this Shakedown, and if you’re reading this twaddle on even a semi-regular schedule, sometimes you just need a Shakedown.

Even though it’s the only one of the disco songs that ever really worked, some are snobbish about Shakedown. These people deserve to be dorm-mates with the Monkeys of Time!, a group of chimps (fuck you, LaMarck) with access to time teleportation technology, but absolutely no concept of the ramifications of their actions, primarily because they are monkeys (Fuck you, apes: you’re all monkeys to me.) Continuity is loosed free from its moorings. And its Mormons. Shit gets fucked up, chronometrically speaking, is what I’m getting at.

DON’T GIVE MONKEYS TIME MACHINES!

The Stacks

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