• ATM.
  • Water fountain.
  • Public bathroom.
  • WiFi hotspot.
  • Hot dog stand, but only with big yellow-and-blue umbrella with “Sabrett” written on it.
  • Cart selling those giant pretzels with the grains of salt as big as a child’s knuckle.
  • Dog to pet.
  • Fat guy in Hawaiian shirt giving out high-fives and compliments
  • Pit of quicksand, but with many signs warning you of the danger, so you could avoid it; that way, no matter how bad your day was: hey, at least you avoided the quicksand.
  • Art of some sort would be lovely.
  • I would say those leave-a-book/take-a-book library boxes, but I am sure that perverts would stick various pornographies in there immediately.
  • Canadian Mountie in full uniform giving directions.
  • In summer, wading pool.
  • In winter, trash can fire surrounded by hobos in fingerless gloves warming themselves.
  • The musical stylings of Miss Patti LaBelle, y’all.
  • Registration kiosk for Federal Service: remember, service guarantees citizenship.