Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: the national

How To Write About The Dead: A Deconstruction

May 20, 2017 / / 10 Comments

This is the first paragraph, and I’ll do two things in it: establish my credentials as a hip and self-aware arbiter of musical taste, and make note of the fact that the Grateful Dead are giant suckbags and their fans should be rounded up, bathed, and shot. Maybe I’ll even be self-referential about it, who knows? I, the Working Music Critic, have been listening to neo-boxwave, soundtracks to Italian horror movies, and Kendrick Lamar. The Dead? [INSERT SENTENCE CONTAINING ONE ORE MORE OF THE FOLLOWING WORDS/PHRASES: 60’s, hippies, Baby Boomer, smelly, acid, tie-dye, jam.]

A  joke about how long the songs were goes here.

But now–and hold your hats–I shall reveal that even though my ear is perfectly attuned to the cool and that my record collection (vinyl or die, yo) is impeccably curated, I do enjoy the Dead. My older brother/cousin/buddy from marching band played me Europe ’72, and I’ve seen multiple iterations of the post-Garcia touring diaspora, and read several books about or by the band. Still, though: Dead suck and all their fans suck.

Here’s where I try to throw a little context at you: Nixon and Reagan usually get mentioned, and so the whole Rock scene of the 70’s, too. Probably going to quote from a book or two, pad out the word count. Capsule bio of the band? Could be. Nitrous reference? If we have time.

And now we get to the meat of the article, which is a review of the latest piece of Dead-related content that requires reviewing in the omni-ouroboros of today’s media ecology. Someone does a thing, and then someone writes about the thing, and then someone comments on the writing, and then someone gets outraged, and then someone writes a thing about the outrage. It all goes around, like morons in a clothes dryer.

In this paragraph, I apologize for enjoying the [movie/CD/book] and list the reasons why even you, a sane and righteous person who naturally despises the Grateful Dead, might enjoy the [movie/CD/book].

The National will be mentioned somewhere around here.

In conclusion, please check out the Grateful Dead, even though they are an embarrassment to the human race and also my favorite band.

p.s. Sorry that I like the Dead

Thoughts In Real-Time On The Five New Tracks From The Tribute Album

April 27, 2016 / / 18 Comments

Bonnie “Prince” Billy & Friends, Ruben & Cherise

  • Okay.
  • Pretty guitar part.
  • How Bonnie is Prince Billy?
  • More Bonnie than Franklin?
  • Always loved this song; they didn’t play it enough.
  • This guy’s voice is not growing on me.
  • I thought it would.
  • But he’s not actually singing notes.
  • One of the bridgiest bridges in the Dead’s canon.
  • This guy’s nickname is offensive.
  • Too soon.
  • Drums still sound like shit, and I think this will be a thread in the blanket that is this post.
  • All right, I guess: the song is so good that it’s a treat to hear in any form, but if you’re just going to play the Dead’s arrangement, then I’ll just listen to the Dead doing it.
  • Bobbie Billy hit a lovely note or two while I was writing that last sentence, and I think I get what he’s doing now, and I like it.
  • I am now silly for Bonnie “Prince” Billy.
  • And the fade.
  • Painless.

[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IHIgrrk-i8[/embedyt]

Jim James & Friends, Candyman

  • WHO RECORDED THESE MOTHERFUCKING DRUMS?
  • Arrest him.
  • Hunt down and imprison the person who was responsible for this drum sound.
  • Everything else is good, especially the organ, but the drums sound like a hobo raping a cardboard box.
  • Two in a row: same arrangement, same feel, same vocal phrasing.
  • Also not my favorite song, if we’re honest.
  • There was an American Dad episode about this Jim Jones person, and he has a large beard and is given to fringed jackets.
  • Digging the solo: Venusian AM radio crackle and hiss; it is unpleasant and wonderful.
  • This is all right
  • It’s not awful, and Jim Jones is doing kind of a ’74 Dylan thing.
  • It could be over now, though.
  • Alpaca.
  • Bison.
  • Cat.
  • Dog.
  • Elephant.
  • Fox.
  • And we’re done.

[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCanZehKVD0[/embedyt]

Charles Bradley & Menehan Street Band, Cumberland Blues

  • Hey now.
  • This is not West Virginny coalmining music!
  • …
  • All right: this is good, or at least adventurous or just shows effort.
  • It’s totally the riff from Thank You Falettin Me Be Mice Elf..
  • THIS BREAKDOWN.
  • Okay, I love this.
  • Best one yet by an incredibly large margin.
  • Catfish Collins on lead guitar.
  • Yeah: this is a band with a sound, not some random Pitchfork darling with a passable backing band running through the tune once or twice.
  • And it’s short!
  • WINNER.

[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtQd-i4pIBA[/embedyt]

Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Shakedown Street

  • I don’t know about this already.
  • I continue to not know how i feel about this.
  • Is this the Disco Biscuits?
  • Oh, God: is this a Disco Biscuit tribute band?
  • Bass player’s pretty good, but the keyboard is like a nail file in my left ear.
  • Wait: is this Jamiroquai?
  • Is it a Jamiroquai/Disco Biscuits super-group?
  • The chorus is great and energetic and fun, but then they dip back into the verse and let their keyboard player play and I feel hatred in my heart.
  • Jamming?
  • On a Grateful Dead-related record?
  • Stop that!
  • Oops.
  • They did.

[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53us2EAEbm4[/embedyt]

Perfume Genius, Sharon Van Etten & Friends, To Lay Me Down

  • I do not like the name Perfume Genius.
  • Who’s singing?
  • The Et?
  • Whoever it is, she can sing.
  • Very good, strong.
  • Many people can sing well, but I sing Grateful Dead songs better.
  • Hey! Get out of here, Donald!
  • That was weird.
  • Anyway, this is a dirge.
  • I mean, the song has always been a dirge–AND THERE’S THAT FUCKING KEYBOARDIST AGAIN–but I think the Perfect Genie and Sharon van Houten have chosen to emphasize the dirgiest qualities of said dirge.
  • Giraffe.
  • Heron.
  • Ibex.
  • Jaguar.
  • There’s two fucking minutes left.
  • I know I’m not a good man, but I don’t deserve this.
  • 1,2,3.
  • 1,2,3.
  • 1,2,3.
  • We get it.
  • You’re lying down, he’s lying down, you’re being laid down: everyone is horizontal.
  • Kangaroo.
  • Lynx.
  • Marmoset.
  • Nipplehound.
  • Osteopathfish.
  • This is never going to–IT ENDED.

Day Of The Dead Listening Party In Real Time

March 24, 2016 / / 8 Comments

THE WAR ON DRUGS – TOUCH OF GREY

  • Is it the 80’s again?
  • Are Men Without Hats back?
  • The lead singer has never been in a fight.
  • Who stole my Cavaricci pants?
  • I wanted to wear them with my Capezio shoes and vote for Dukakis.
  • Maybe start a fanzine.
  • Jesus, how much longer is this?
  • I want to get in a fight with this lead singFUCK GOD, NO HARMONICA.
  • Dammit.
  • Good rule of recording: before you release a song, look in the mirror and take off the harmonica track.
  • I will fight this singer and his drum machine.
  • If you took The War on Drugs to a restaurant, they would have many questions about the food, due to their allergies and beliefs.
  • When Garcia sang “That’s really all I have to say,” it was bittersweet, but when this guy does it, it’s the best news you’ve heard in a while.
  • Fuck, he’s scat singing during the outro.
  • And more harmonica.

PHOSPHORESCENT, JENNY LEWIS & FRIENDS – SUGAREE

  • Immediate points off for not using the Oxford Comma.
  • Is Jenny Lewis not singing?
  • Why not?
  • It’s a bar band kinda deal, but it’s too fast: the whole point of Sugaree is the floaty, dreamy tempo.
  • Is the drummer playing like a drum machine, or is the drum machine set to 90% wobble?
  • I’m going to forget ever hearing this two minutes after it ends.
  • Nice organ playing.
  • Bored.
  • Who cares?
  • Why is this?
  • Who chooses a band name so hard to spell?
  • I now hate the drummer.
  • Browns picked up RGIII, huh?
  • Man, this election.
  • Could go for a ’72 today.
  • I could actually listen to the Replacements today.
  • I’d like to use the Time Sheath to make the ‘Mats do a cover in Sugaree in ’88 or so.
  • While Bob was still in the group.
  • Oh, thank God.
  • Three more.

BRUCE HORNSBY & DEYARMOND EDISON  – BLACK MUDDY RIVER

[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM-shsMngdw[/embedyt]

  • We’re playing it this slow?
  • That’s a choice.
  • It’s Bruce Hornsby: how bad could it be?
  • He was a card-carrying Grateful Dead.
  • (Bruce insisted on having business cards made up.)
  • Did the same person produce all of these tracks?
  • Because that person doesn’t understand how drums are supposed to sound.
  • Oh, now they’re just making spooky noises.
  • Just play the Jerry Ballad; don’t haunted house at me.
  • Still spooky.
  • Oooooooooooooooooh.
  • Oogie-boogie.
  • Oh, there’s the song.
  • Bruce Hornsby can play the piano.
  • This drum sound is an abomination: if a state passed legislation stripping this drum sound of its rights, I would move to that state.
  • Turtle with multiple sclerosis.
  • Rusted-out Chevy in the backyard.
  • Tectonic plates.
  • Dripping pitch.
  • All of these things are faster than this song.

COURTNEY BARNETT – NEW SPEEDWAY BOOGIE

[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdaAQlmExmI[/embedyt]

  • I have heard Courtney Barnett: they play her on channel 29 and 31.
  • Ooh, swamp guitar.
  • Drums still sound like shit.
  • Is that the theme of the album?
  • Which is 59 songs long.
  • Some of my very favorite bands didn’t release 59 songs in total.
  • Courtney Barnett is Australian, I believe, and she sings in her accent.
  • I approve of people singing in their natural accents.
  • Unless you’re Joey Ramone or Bruce Springsteen.
  • Okay, I got it.
  • 90 seconds left.
  • Animals that start with “B”:
  • Bat.
  • Baboon.
  • …
  • Um.
  • Big spider.
  • Birch tree.
  • Banana.
  • Biafra.
  • And the fade.
  • Slow-ass fade.
  • Still going.
  • Really?
  • Stop this.
  • Done.

THE NATIONAL – MORNING DEW

[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLVLCXgTx3o[/embedyt]

  • Cover of a cover.
  • This is already not for me.
  • Is this Danzig singing?
  • MOOOOOTHEEEER.
  • Cuz the guy’s doing sexy voice at me and the song’s about nuclear war.
  • Like a Bauhaus vibe, maybe?
  • Goth-y.
  • Where are the cellos?
  • Can’t be goth without cellos.
  • Nothing in the soundscape is where it is supposed to be.
  • They’re doing a big build-up thing, but it’s so thin-sounding.
  • Oh, the drums kicked in.
  • Sucked the drama out of that.
  • Good job.
  • It turns out that without Garcia soloing over this song, there’s not really much here.
  • It’s the Dead’s version of Beck’s Bolero.
  • 20 seconds left.
  • Ten.
  • Aaaaand that’s all she wrote.

Redeadicated

March 17, 2016 / / 10 Comments

IMG_3715

Well, Enthusiasts, the long-awaited Dead Tribute Album’s track listing has been announced; you can check it out here.

It’s a big release: 5 CDs and 60 tracks; coincidentally, I just looked up the definition of the word “editor.”

EDITOR (noun): a person who is in charge of and determines the final content of a text.

No idea why I looked that up.

Anyway, you wouldn’t imagine much was left on the cutting room floor, but as usual TotD has the scoop. Here are some of the rejected tracks:

Bubbemeister and the Smushy Tushees – The Eleven

The White Brooklynites (feat. Joanna Newsom) – Weather Report Suite

Wayne Coyne and an Oompah Band – Mexicali Blues

Eagles of Death Metal – Dire Wolf

Some Band Pitchfork Made Up – Dark Star

The Guy From Sonic Youth Who Wasn’t The Tall One Or Kim Gordon – Dark Star

J. Mascis – Dark Star

Ryan Adams – Dark Star>Shake It Off

Someone From Silverlake With A Soundcloud Account – Creampuff War

Yoko Ono (feat. Bobby on slide guitar) – Werewolves of London

Rush – King Solomon’s Mines

The 1975 – Blues for Allah

Father John Misty – Truckin’ (but he does it super-ironically)

Mumford & Sons – Tuning

Big-Dicked Sheila and the Sinthesizers – Box of Rain

OK Go – Fire on the Mountain (with bonus video)

 

 

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