When you’re a Rolling Stone and want a five-stringed guitar, you get a five-stringed guitar.
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Tag: travis bean
Please. I tried. I looked. I googled. Nothing. Someone explain why Keith Richards is playing bass in tandem with Bill Wyman. Were they covering Big Bottom? Because if they were, then the Rolling Stones are in possession of Time Sheath technology, being that this photo is from either their ’75 tour of America, or the ’76 European run. (Ollie Brown, the guy in the back with the giant afro, only joined the touring Stones for two years.) What the fuck is this bullshit?
And it’s not a soundcheck fuck-around one-off, either:
I repeat: What the fuck is this bullshit?
Sure, it’s eight grand, and isn’t technically a Travis Bean, but think of how much joy I bring you on a near-daily basis.
Hey, Slim.
“Yeah, uh-huh. Little question.”
Get at me, dog.
“Don’t talk like that.”
You’re right. What was the question?
“Wasn’t this site about us?”
It was.
“What happened?”
I drifted.
“Well, hell, if it could happen to Omar Sharif…”
Right?
Hello, Trixie. You’ve gone pinkish.
“I need you to be honest with me: are you going to show up at my house one day?”
Am I invited?
“No. Not at all.”
Then I will not.
“Promise?”
I don’t have the follow-through to be a stalker.
“I’ll take it.”
This is a very sweet picture.
“I know, right? Jerry’s girls. All eight of us.”
Your dad loved him his guitars.
“When I was a kid and went to my friends’ houses, I would think it was weird that their dads didn’t sit there playing scales while they were talking to us.”
This is Red Rocks for the big concert?
“Yeah! Bobby’s here and Oteil and John Mayer and Warren and Melvin. My whole family. It’s been great, really great.”
I’m very happy to hear that.
“Except for that guy.”
Which guy?
“The shirtless guy right over there. No one knows how he got backstage, but he won’t leave.”
Lemme handle it. Hey!
“Shto?”
Oh, fuck.
“Do nyet be harshing Putin’s mellow. Putin is on vacay.”
Get away from the Garcias.
“Do Garcias write about me?”
No.
“Then they are in no danger. Putin have very stressful year. Tired of so much vinning. Must relax.”
You don’t have to do it at Red Rocks during a Jerry Garcia tribute concert.
“Could nyet get Baker’s Dozen tickets.”
I find that hard to believe.
“Putin nyet up to anything. Have James Patterson novel. Vill read by pool.”
You’re up to something.
“This is how Putin gets groove back.”
I’m watching you.
“And me, you.”
Jerry Garcia was not a human/pig hybrid. At no point during his 55 years on this earth was he a semi-porcine chimera whose existence was an affront to God. His nose, while certainly not a cute little button, was definitely not snout-esque; Garcia would have been utter shit at truffle-hunting.
Also, his guitars had frets.
“Anything that’s not going to hell out there?”
…
…
…
No. Not really, no.
“Leave you people alone for two decades and see what happens.”
You can poke around the Bonham’s site if you want: most of the lots in the 2012 Garcia auction were his artwork, or some of that tacky shit they plastered his artwork on, but there were some interesting little nuggets.
This is a small-scale guitar Rock Scully bought for his kid to learn on; Garcia got wind that there was an unmodified guitar in his presence and flipped out, installing new pickups and a bridge that cost more than the entire instrument. Plus, he had the Stealie inlaid. By the time the upgrades were finished, Rock’s son was in grad school.
Here’s another guitar, a little more elaborate this time:
This was built by Bobby and the guys at Ibanez for Garcia, in hopes he’d start playing their guitars; he apparently found it too heavy, which is astonishing. Tiger weighed 1300 pounds and Garcia loved that thing, so how heavy must this sucker have been?
Those are cute, but if you want a real Garcia guitar, then dig in the couch for 300 grand worth of change and find a Time Sheath:
That, obviously, is the Travis Bean TB1000 that Garcia played in 1975, and I hope it makes Jim Irsay very happy. He is a deserving man.
And this:
Included is the custom-made black leather case (that only a TB1000 guitar fits in), with some of Garcia’s items still inside: his guitar strings, a tuning fork, a string winder, and an unopened pack of his non-filtered Camel cigarettes.
Unopened, man.
© 2026 Thoughts On The Dead
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑
Recent Comments