I’ve been reading up on Holocaust Denial, and it sounds appealing.

What now?

Oh, good. There you are. Needed to run something by you.

Is that why you said the terrible thing?

Partially to get your attention, yes, but I almost meant it.

Dammit.

Not that specific denial. I still think the Holocaust happened.

Please don’t phrase it like that. Just say “happened.” Don’t qualify it with the “I think.”

But you have to admit that denying things is huge now.

Vaccines.

Moon landing.

9/11.

Evolution.

Wow, yeah. Denial is so hot right now.

Right, and I think I’m going to deny something. I mean, nothing at that list because I’m not a fucking moron, but I still want to deny something.

…

Please don’t say the–

The Grateful Dead didn’t exist.

—Dead didn’t…Goddammit. That makes no sense.

Making sense has nothing to do with this: I’m denying something.

Stop denying things.

I deny!

You can’t. There’s evidence. Mountains and mountains of evidence that the Dead existed. There’s film.

Moon landings had film.

Audio recordings.

Verified calls from Flight 93 were archived.

Most of the band is still alive.

Crisis actors.

If the Dead never existed, then who directed The Grateful Dead Movie?

Stanley Kubrick.

…

This is legitimately no dumber than any other form of denialism.

Right? We should make t-shirts.

“Jet Fuel Can’t Melt Mickey’s Beam.”

Nice.