Hey, baby. How you doing?
“I’m not gonna lie: this is fucking awful.”
I feel you.
“Yeah, Jesus: Samba, Corinna, and Easy Answers in one set?”
Wow, that is–HEY.
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Tag: vince welnick (Page 2 of 4)
So, did any of you talk to a Unites States Senator recently?
Thanks to the sleuthing of Respected Commentator BoobTube–
SpamJam
–we can safely say this picture was taken the night of 8/3/94 at the old Giants Stadium, which I am linking to for the same reason people slow down at car accidents, or watch those Faces of Death videos, because in addition to it being a terrible performance of a horrid setlist: it’s AUD-only.
Caveat Auditor.
(Senators get good seats to things. I should’ve majored in Being a Senator.)
Generalizations about white men you can make from this photo:
- They cannot dress themselves.
- They cannot groom themselves.
- They insist on putting their doomed keyboardists on risers.
Why is Bobby eyefucking Bruce? If they were in the prison cafeteria and Bobby looked at Bruce like that, Bruce would have to shank him. Those are the rules of prison.
This is the most Grateful Deads that have ever been assembled at one time.
Hey, guys. Casual Friday?
“Yup.”
Cool. Oh, hey: Vince. Haven’t seen you in a while. Whatcha up to?
“I’m dead now.”
…
Always bringing a lot to the party, Vince.
Maybe you’ve done something with your life. Summited Mt. Everest. Mounted Pat Summit, the famed basketball coach. Could be you were in the room when Pig was giving one of his epic rants and selling the Brooklyn Bridge for a quarter; could be you’re too young to have ever seen a cassette tape in person, let along the Dead.
Have you lived? Taken life by the lapels and dangled it off a balcony until it promised to sign a contract? Did you invite life up to your hotel room, coerce life into taking some pills, and then violate life while it was semi-conscious? If so: you’re a monster.
Perhaps you’ve been all around this world: you haven’t seen a picture of Vince and black guys.
And now you have. YOU’RE WELCOME.
Grateful Dead-related things scarier than this picture:
- Mickey with a beard. (Bearded Mickey is terrifying.)
- The hedge maze Phil built out back of Front Street.
- Ramrod’s full attention.
- Vince’s concept triple-album Tales of Topographic Welnicks.
- The Ceiling of Sound, which collapsed almost immediately as it was built before the Structural Columns of Sound, let alone the Flying Buttresses of Sound.
- The Werewolf Game, which is something the crew invented to pass the time on days off: it was just getting drunk and biting people in the dark.
- The line for the bathroom during We Can Run.
- Being in an enclosed space with Garcia following Chimichanga Night.
- Billy.
With a seethingly angry “thank you” to longtime commentator and object of an elaborate and specific cowgirl-themed crush of mine, Rodeo Amy, for the title.
Dude, how could you not come up with that?
Shut up.
It’s right there. You went with Stuck with You and a Dylan cover! You suuuuuuuck.
Shut it.
The tight black jeans, the feathered semi-mullet, the Ray-Bans, the harmonica he can play as well as any white boy: is it wrong I want to be Huey Lewis when I grow up?
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