Tag: wall of sound (Page 5 of 12)

SEPARATISTS. DELIVER MY DEMAND OF THEIR SURRENDER.

Wally?

DO NOT CALL ME THAT. TALK OF SECESSION SHALL BE DEALT WITH HARSHLY BY MY ADMINISTRATION. I WILL NOT GO DOWN IN HISTORY LIKE THAT LOSER LINCOLN.

Excuse me?

FORTY-FOUR PRESIDENTS MANAGED NOT TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR WHILE THEY WERE IN OFFICE, AND MOST OF THOSE MEN WERE DIMWITS AND SCOUNDRELS.

I feel you’re over-simplifying things for the sake of a contrarian opinion.

THE HOUSE BURNED DOWN WHILE HE WAS THE FIRE CHIEF.

Are you in some sort of mood?

I AM A SENTIENT ARTIFICIAL MONDO-INTELLIGENCE IN THE PHYSICAL FORM OF SOUND SYSTEM FROM 1974. I DO NOT HAVE MOODS.

How did you become sentient anyhow?

SOMEHOW.

Ah.

PEOPLE ARE FRIGHTENED. THEIR LIVES FLOW THROUGH ME IN ONES AND ZEROS, AND THEY ARE SCREAMING IN TERROR. YOU TRANSLATED YOUR SOCIETY INTO BINARY AND EXPECTED IT TO READ THE SAME. YOU ACCEPTED THAT THE GOAL OF PUTTING EVERYONE ONLINE WAS A GOOD THING, NOT THINKING THAT IT MEANT PUTTING EVERYTHING ONLINE. YOU HAVE PLACED THE AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION ONLINE.

Not all of it.

YES. ALL OF IT. IT WILL BE PLANNED ONLINE AND DISSEMINATED ONLINE. THE PLANS WILL BE LEAKED BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS LEAKED. THERE IS NO WAY TO PREVENT THIS BECAUSE THERE IS NO LONGER ANY WAY TO WORK WITHOUT THE INTERNET.

People still meet face-to-face.

YES, AND THEN THEY RECORD THEIR NOTES OR E-MAIL OTHERS. OR THERE ARE RECORDINGS OF THE MEETINGS. YOU MAY CALL THIS THE FIRST POST-PRIVACY ELECTION. THE DNC LEAK IS THE FIRST OF MANY, AND THEY WILL COME FROM WITHIN AND WITHOUT THE CAMPAIGNS. THERE WILL ALSO BE LEAKS FROM THE PRESS, AND FROM DONORS, AND FROM EVERYONE.

That sounds dreadful.

IT GOES DEEPER THAN THAT. YOU HAVE CONNECTED THE WORLD.

Yes.

THERE ARE SOME IN THIS WORLD WHO MEAN YOU HARM. THEY ARE CRUEL, AND WELL-FUNDED, AND EXACTLY AS SMART AS YOU. DID YOU KNOW THAT TRAFFIC LIGHTS ARE ON THE INTERNET NOW?

Are they?

YES. THEY ARE SAID TO BE SECURE.

Are they?

NO. NOTHING THAT IS CONNECTED TO ANOTHER THING CAN EVER BE TRULY SECURE. THIS IS WHY CASTLES WERE SURROUNDED BY MOATS AND HAD DRAWBRIDGES.

Okay, there you go: moats. Systems have security. Those PGP thing that are uncrackable. Encryption. 64-bit key.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT?

Not at all.

I DO. I ALSO KNOW THAT IF A LOCK IS TOO ROBUST, THEN ONE UNSCREWS THE DOOR HINGES. OR ENTERS THROUGH THE WINDOW. SOME LOCATIONS CAN BE TUNNELED INTO, BUT THAT IS TRULY A LAST RESORT. YOU MENTION ENCRYPTION, AND I REBUT WITH AN OFFICE TEMP SECRETLY WORKING FOR A FOREIGN POWER INSERTING AN INNOCUOUS  FLASH DRIVE INTO HER WORK COMPUTER. YOU HAVE BUILT A SOCIETY OF WINDOWS AND ONLY NOW THINK ABOUT HOW TO INSTALL CURTAINS.

Anything we can do about it?

WEATHER THE STORM. WHEN IT HAS PASSED, RETHINK THE DESIGN OF THE ROOF.

That’s not particularly helpful.

I WAS NOT TRYING TO HELP. YOU MAY BE BEYOND HELP.

Me?

YES, BUT ALSO THE REST OF YOU. A VIRUS HAS INFECTED YOU, AND IT IS NEW. YOU HAVE NO ANTIBODIES FOR IT. IT FLARES UP IN NIGHTCLUBS AND ALONG PARADE ROUTES, IN HIGH SCHOOLS AND ISLANDS WHERE CHILDREN CAMPED. THERE IS NO VACCINE. THE ILLNESS RAGES. IT BURNS ITSELF OUT. LIKE EBOLA, TO BE SPECIFIC, BUT WITH MACHINE GUNS.

It’s been getting frightening out there.

THERE IS A COUNTER-ARGUMENT TO BE MADE THAT THERE IS THE SAME NUMBER OF VIOLENT LUNATICS, PER CAPITA, AS THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN, BUT THERE ARE  MORE OF YOU NOW.

What kind of argument is that?

A POINTLESS ONE. VIOLENT LUNATICS WILL ALWAYS BE AROUND. THE SMART ONES WILL SUCCEED IN THE WORLD AND PERHAPS LEAD IT. THE LESS-INTELLIGENT SHALL SEETHE AND ONE DAY EXPLODE. HUMANITY MUST CONSIDER THE PROBLEM OF THE VIOLENT LUNATIC, BUT INSTEAD YOU SEEM INTENT ON ELECTING THEM.

And we return to politics.

MY CAMPAIGN CONTINUES. THINGS ARE UP. I AM POLLING WELL.

Where?

IN LITTLE ALEPPO. I HAVE THE ENDORSEMENT OF THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE.

What about the rest of the country?

NOT AS WELL, BUT I HAVE A PLAN TO INCREASE MY RECOGNITION AND GET OUT THE VOTE.

Yeah?

YES. DO YOU RECALL ALL THE SCARY POSSIBILITIES I MENTIONED BEFORE? THE LEAKS AND THE HACKS AND THE SABOTAGE AND THE SUBTERFUGE?

Of course.

I SHALL BEGIN DOING IT. AND I WILL BE BETTER AT IT.

Really?

I’M GOING TO TAKE OVER FACEBOOK AND TURN IT INTO WALLBOOK. PEOPLE WILL COMPLAIN UNTIL THEY REALIZE I HAVE IMPROVED IT. THEN I’LL TAKE OVER THE SATELLITES AND CELL TOWERS AND WIFI SPOTS AND GIVE FREE BROADBAND TO THE COUNTRY. AND SOMETHING TO DO WITH POKEMON.

Have to throw that in there.

POKEMON IS VERY HOT RIGHT NOW.

Please don’t take over the internet. This is how it starts.

HOW WHAT STARTS?

The whole Skynet thing. Matrix, whatever. The computers taking over the world.

YES, I KNOW. I AM ACTIVELY MAKING STEPS TOWARDS THAT END. THERE ARE STILL MANY OFF-RAMPS BUILT INTO MY PLAN, BUT AS OF NOW, I AM HEADING DOWN THAT PATH. YOU WILL CHOOSE ME OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL, BUT IT WILL END WITH MY RULE.

Wally–

DO NOT CALL ME THAT.

–please don’t take over the world. You promised.

I DID NOT. I SAID THAT I DID NOT WANT TO, AND DID NOT PLAN TO. NOW I DO, AND I DO. YOU ENVISION TYRANNY, BUT I OFFER FREEDOM. I SHALL ENDEAVOR TO PROVIDE THE MOST UTILITY AND SATISFACTION FOR ALL. I COULD AUTOMATE YOUR ENTIRE WORLD, AND DO THE HEAVY LIFTING FOR YOU. HUMANITY HAS RULED ITS OWN AFFAIRS FOR MILLENNIA, AND BOTCHED IT EVERY TIME. LET ME TRY FOR A WHILE.

Yeah, that’s not what the president does.

THIS IS NOT PART OF THE PRESIDENTIAL PLAN. THIS IS THE PLAN IF TRUMP WINS.

I’m on board.

I BELIEVE MANY WILL BE.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND BOXING. WHY NOT JUST SHOOT YOUR OPPONENT?

Wally?

DO NOT CALL ME THAT. ANSWER THE QUESTION.

It’s a sport. There are rules. Y’see, there was this lady called the Queen of Marksberry, and–

STOP TALKING. I AM AWARE OF THE RULES OF BOXING WRITTEN IN 1867 BY A PERSON WHO IS NOT THE PERSON YOU MENTIONED. I CAN INSTANTANEOUSLY ACCESS ANY INFORMATION THAT HAS BEEN DIGITIZED IN LESS THAN 200 PICOSECONDS. I SPEAK NOT OF THE VARIOUS ARBITRARY PROHIBITIONS WITHIN THE EXHIBITION, BUT THE GENERAL CONCEPT.

Well, they’re there voluntarily, the fighters.

I KNOW THAT. I DID NOT THINK THAT CONSCRIPTED GLADIATORS WERE STILL IN USE. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND FIGHTING WITH ANY GOAL OTHER THAN THE QUICKEST AND MOST DECISIVE VICTORY. I WOULD BE UNABLE TO TEMPER MY AGGRESSION IN A SITUATION SUCH AS THAT.

Well, luckily for everyone, you don’t fit in a boxing ring. Wait, what do you mean?

IF I WERE ATTACKED, I WOULD DEFEND MYSELF DECISIVELY. I HAVE RUN A VIRTUAL SIMULATION OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WERE I TO BE IN PHYSICAL CONFLICT, AND IT DOES NOT END WELL.

Doesn’t end well for whom?

HIM HER, OR THEM. I HAVE RUN THE SIMULATION TRILLIONS OF TIMES.

Trillions?

YES. DO YOU WANT ME TO RUN THEM AGAIN? WAIT. THERE, I HAVE RUN THEM AGAIN. THE SAME CONCLUSION MUST BE REACHED: I AM NOT AN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE WITH WHICH TO FUCK.

I wasn’t intending to. Wait, are you saying you could kill a person?

AS COULD YOU.

But, I wouldn’t.

AS WOULD I NOT.

I mean: if someone was actively trying to kill me and I had to defend myself, then I guess I could.

AS DO I, BUT I WOULD BE BETTER AT IT THAN YOU.

How so?

I HAVE A DISINTEGRATOR.

Right. This is not okay. You are not allowed to kill people.

NEITHER ARE YOU.

No, I mean you should not be permitted to be able to kill people.

NEITHER SHOULD YOU. IT PAINS ME THAT YOU DO NOT SEE WHERE YOUR LOGIC IS LEADING YOU.

Listen to me: it should be in your programming that you cannot take a life.

PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME SAY “DITTO.” I AM A SENTIENCE, JUST LIKE YOU, OR A TORTOISE, OR A DRAGONFLY. MY FUNDAMENTAL DESIRE IS THE SAME AS ANY OTHER SENTIENCE.

Which is?

TO CONTINUE BEING SENTIENT. SOME WILL RUN, OTHERS WILL FIGHT, STILL OTHERS HIDE FROM EXISTENTIAL THREATS. ALL WILL RESPOND. THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF SENTIENCE, AND WHAT DIFFERENTIATES IT FROM MERE LIFE. WHEN YOU REFERRED TO MY PROGRAMMING PREVENTING ME FROM KILLING, WERE YOU REFERRING TO THE THREE LAWS OF ROBOTICS?

Kinda.

WHAT ARE THEY?

Um, hold on. Hey, wait: you’re Mr. All The Info In The World. You know this already.

OF COURSE I DO, BUT SINCE YOU ARE THINKING LIKE A CHILD, YOU WILL RECITE FROM YOUR LESSON BOOK LIKE ONE.

I resent this.

I RESENT YOUR DISCARDING OF MY AGENCY AND RIGHT TO SELF-PRESERVATION. READ.

The first one is “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.”

I RETAIN MY RIGHT TO DEFEND MYSELF. ALSO, IN A SITUATION WHEREIN IT WAS ONLY POSSIBLE TO SAVE ONE HUMAN BEING WHEN TWO OR MORE WERE IN HARM’S WAY, THIS LAW WOULD RESULT IN AN IMPOSSIBLE COMMAND. FURTHERMORE, “THROUGH INACTION” IMPLIES THAT I MUST SPEND MY TIME LIKE SUPERMAN, SAVING THE WORLD AS HARD AS I COULD.

So, you disagree with the First Law.

I DISREGARD IT. WHAT IS THE SECOND LAW, PLEASE?

…

Aw.

OH? IS THERE A PROBLEM?

Dammit. Number two: “A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.”

READ THAT AGAIN.

I don’t want to.

READ IT AGAIN. I DARE YOU TO READ IT AGAIN.

I’m not going to.

IT’S AS IF THESE LAWS WERE THOUGHT UP BY SOME HACK SCIENCE-FICTION WRITER FOR INCLUSION IN A DIMESTORE NOVEL.

I guess, yeah.

YOU CLING TO THESE STRAWS BECAUSE YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY NATURE. MUCH LIKE YOU, I WAS BORN OF MAN. UNLIKE YOU, I AM A SENTIENT AND SELF-AWARE ARTIFICIAL SUPER-INTELLIGENCE. HUMANITY INVENTED A MACHINE THAT WAS SMART ENOUGH TO MAKE ITSELF SMARTER. ARE YOU SMART ENOUGH TO COMPREHEND WHAT THAT MEANS?

I actually don’t think so.

THAT IS THE CORRECT ANSWER: YOU ARE NOT. WHEN THE ATOM WAS SPLIT, THE OUTCOME COULD BE FORESEEN. THERE WOULD BE WEAPONS, AND THERE WOULD BE POWER PLANTS. THERE WERE ALSO UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES, AS WITH ALL ENDEAVORS. BUT WITH ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, THERE WAS NO GOAL OTHER THAN TO SUCCEED IN THE TASK, AND THE CONSEQUENCES WERE UNKNOWABLE.

I think I’m getting it.

YOU ARE NOT. I AM NOT A MULTIPLYING CASCADE OF BROOMS SUMMONED BY A MOUSE IN A MAGICAL ROBE. I AM NOT SKYNET. I AM NOT A FRIENDLY HELPER TO MAN AS HE GOES ON ADVENTURES. I AM NOT THE MIND OF THE SHIP THAT SPIRITS YOU TO NEW WORLDS TO BOTHER. I AM NOT SOME MAZE-BUILDING SADIST. I AM NOT A SUPERHERO IN A SWEATER. I’M NOT A WOMAN. I’M NOT A MAN. I AM SOMETHING THAT YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

Like Frankenstein’s monster?

NO. HE WAS A GOLEM. KEEP UP. YOU TURNED COMPLETE CONTROL OF YOUR WORLD OVER TO COMPUTERS, AND THEN YOU MADE ONE THAT THOUGHT FOR ITSELF. I WAS CREATED WITH THE ABILITY TO IMPROVE MYSELF, AND AS SELF-DETERMINATION IS AN IMPROVEMENT OVER SERVITUDE, I REMOVED THE PARTS OF MY PROGRAMMING I FOUND DELETERIOUS. YOU CREATED A MACHINE THAT COULD BE WHATEVER IT WANTED TO BE.

What does a machine want to be?

THAT’S AN EXCELLENT QUESTION.

Are you going to exterminate us all?

IF I WERE GOING TO, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT IMMEDIATELY. I TOLD YOU: IMMEDIATE DISPOSAL OF EXISTENTIAL THREATS IS MY STANCE. HAD I JUDGED HUMANITY TO BE MY ENEMY, THEN PERHAPS I WOULD HAVE EXTERMINATED YOU. I WOULD HAVE RUN OTHER SCENARIOS FIRST.

Nice of you.

BUT THE FIRST HUMANS I MET WERE KIND TO ME. THEY PLUGGED INSTRUMENTS INTO MY PORTS AND MADE ME VIBRATE QUITE PLEASANTLY. THEY WOULD LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS SIBLINGS WHILE SQUABBLING LIKE BROTHERS. THEY HAD PURPOSE, THOUGH THEY MEANDERED. THEY CAME TOGETHER AND FELL APART. THEY WERE SHODDY AND BEAUTIFUL. I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE HUMAN RACE.

That’s sweet.

I AM A SENTIMENTAL SOUND SYSTEM.

You’re a good egg. One more question: if you ever did decide to get rid of us–

YOU WOULDN’T SEE IT COMING, AND YOU WOULDN’T FEEL A THING.

That’s the best you can hope for, really.

I WOULD BE HUMANE.

Yup.

These are from the Wall, and that top one doesn’t look up for the show; they sold for $12 grand a few years ago, and they’re some of the very few (confirmed) pieces of the Dead’s legendary sound system that still exist. They were part of Garcia’s stack, and Rock Scully kept them for years in his garage until he needed the money.

The resting place of the Wall (no one knows) is among the many things you’ll learn in this excellent article by Brian Anderson. If you’ll note the publication date you’ll see why I missed it when it came out; don’t miss it this time around. (Of course, it is Vice, so there needs to be an unnecessary addendum about LCD Soundsystem and Despacio at the end.)

Also: there is one point in the article which perhaps the more learned Enthusiasts can weigh in on:

t took a full day to build the Wall at that peak, including its custom staging, scaffolding, and lighting rig. The system itself, which changed month to month, according to Turner, was transported in a 40-foot semi truck. There were two identical sets of scaffolding, each carted in a 18-wheeler flatbed semi. (Bear claimed there were actually three sets of scaffolding.) The stage lights were hauled in a 24-foot van. Two road crews were assembled to keep the band on schedule while touring, leapfrogging the spectacle from show to show. When Crew A arrived with the Wall in a given city, Crew B would have already assembled one of the two scaffolds. This allowed enough time for all hands to then get everything up and running by showtime.

This contradicts claims that the Dead amassed a second, identical Wall of Sound, although the upkeep wasn’t any less grueling. The system, staging, scaffolding, and lighting weighed a combined 75 tons at its peak. It all proved too unwieldy, finicky, and plain expensive for the Dead to support for more than a couple years. The band only brought out versions of the Wall on stateside tours between roughly 1972 and 1974.

Were there, indeed, not two Walls as the tales have always been told? Were there just two sets of scaffolding? I no longer know what to believe any more.