• The West looks shockingly like Spain.
  • People in the Wild West did not speak English, they were overdubbed into it.
  • If you hear Oooweeoo Bwah BWAH Bwah, you should fucking run.
  • Marksmanship is dictated by where your name comes on the poster.
  • Bad guys break into crazy, over-dramatic laughter at the drop of a hat.
  • You can be nicknamed Blondie even if your hair isn’t blond.
  • You can be nicknamed Lefty even if you shoot with your right hand.
  • If you come across a child or a cripple, flip them a coin; they will have information you need.
  • Everyone in the Wild West has heard of each other.
  • Sometimes, men with Mexican names will look Jewish as hell.
  • Matches will light when struck on anything, including human flesh.
  • You just might run into Klaus Kinski.
  • Shooting a rope in half from 100 yards off with a rifle from 1851 is eminently doable.
  • If you are left to die in the desert but rescued, you will briefly have some cheap-ass burn makeup on your face, and then be absolutely fine.