The last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series, everything in Chicago was covered in horse shit 18 inches thick and everyone had tuberculosis. Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle hadn’t come out in softcover yet, so cows were still slaughtered in the mayor’s office; in the Southside of the city, Polish men and sturdy women were hunted for sport by the Irish.

And women couldn’t vote, and King Leopold was still in charge of the Congo, and most folks still took shits in holes. Life expectancy was short: 47, and God help you if you got sick. Actually, He was the only one who could help you, as doctors were still grave-robbing quacks. People were short, too: there’d be four inches less of you in 1908, on average.

Congratulations to the Cubs, and congratulations to all of us; they won this World Series in a better world than the last time.