Well, I’ve found my new favorite thing: the story of a boy, his bus, and some serious bullshit.

Zane Kesey is Ken’s boy and he tends to his dad’s old van and listens to his dad’s old friends’ old stories. Does he own the rights to the name “Acid test?” Does anyone? If anyone does, it seems like it would have been Bill Graham and no one would have realized it until years later, but that is neither here nor there.

So, Zane wanted to drive out and show off the bus, which is the original one. New paint job, but otherwise original. Also, the brakes, but those needed fixing. The engine seized in the late 90’s, and then mice chewed up the entire electrical harness while it sat there, so those are all new, too. Small amount of body work. Brand-new exhaust and also the transmission. Obviously, there are new tires.

Like she just rolled out of the factory.

And then a person named Normal Bean showed up.  You can read about it here and, for the second time today, I beseech one of the smarter Enthusiasts to explain to me just what the fuck is going on. I was never real clever-like with your sinuous-type narrative, y’see. Spy movies? I just watch the attractive people kill and fuck one another in glamorous locations. Any plot beyond Mad Max: Fury Road is beyond me.

I do not understand much of this, but what it seems has happened is that a decent man’s name was used by a low shyster for purposes of skullduggery. The pig in a poke can only be sold on the salesman’s name and reputation, which is why a Bean hides behind a Kesey.

However.

tesla

This is during the conversation about the private train lines the city has promised Normal Bean. Did you notice the bit about Tesla? Would you have sprinted in the other direction at this point? Do you know Ben Jammin?

And then there’s this one:

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When a motherfucker STARTS his bullshit with the Johnny Depp Casual Mention, you know you’re in for some good bullshit. Does Thai Stick stick still exist? Doesn’t matter: this is going to be the Thai Stick of bullshit when you OPEN with the JDCM.

In two paragraphs, this fast-talking sumbitch claims massive swathes of Chicago, like he was some sort of hippie conquistador planting his flag in things. Then, he gives Zane Kesey a TV show.

Zane? Bubbe? Kiddo? Should have seen this one coming. Maybe should hit the big city a little bit more, get mugged once or twice.

Enthusiasts, what have we learned?

  • A man named Normal Bean is precisely as trustworthy and honest as you would expect him to be.
  • Can’t con an honest man.
  • The city of Chicago does not work the way Normal Bean describes it.

You like saying Normal Bean, don’t you?

Who wouldn’t?

…

Yeah, I guess.

Normal Bean!

Normal Bean!

Let’s kiss!

YOU ALWAYS RUIN THE FUN.