It’s been a nightmare. Let us not beat around any of multiple bushes. Also, several Bushes died. 2018 has, in fact, been so abhorrent that we need to break it down into smaller, digestible chunks and investigate topics separately.
How was 2018 for…
MEN Not optimal. Men spent their 2018 raping and trying to think up an excuse to say n—-r in public. Black men were shitty to black women, and white guys were shitty to white women (and black women) and Asian dudes all took their dicks out in the food court. Every single human with a penis was dick this year. You and me, too.The only demographic worse than men was…
WOMEN It’s getting tough to respect you, women, when you continue to refuse to murder us all. Have you not cause? Have you not cause a million times over for our swift and bloody demise? We’ve deserved it for thousands of years now, and yet you do not slice our throats while we sleep. Don’t be pussies, women. After all, gender relations are a…
WAR Fabulous year for war. Afghanistan and Iraq get the attention, but the African conflicts are your real comers. Africa is like South America in the 80’s: prime market. All your smart money is moving into Chad. Gonna be huge this year, just like the…
PROBLEM ATTIC Several expansions were made to the Problem Attic in 2018, mainly in the Pussy Grabbin’ and Jew Hatin’ sections, but we all learned an important lesson: the Problem Attic is non-inescapable. Louis C.K. was sent up there four or five times, but keeps slithering out. (He generates his own lubricant.) Kevin Spacey seems to have found a window in the Problem Attic from which he keeps flashing all of us, even those of us on…
BOATS Boats did what boats do in 2018. They bobbed up, they bobbed down, they provided platforms off which one could fish or dump bodies. Boats ain’t never gonna change, bubba. Don’t you go worrying about boats. Wanna worry, you should worry about the…
SKY We broke it.
Happy New Year, everybody!
just like the 1980’s, now AFRICOM is your one shop.
If you liked Nicaragua, you’ll love….