Tag: 4/24/71

Hey, Pig. Whatcha doing?

“Aw, they got me scrapin’ on this here ethnic object while they play all that boodle-doodle music.”

Dark Star?

“I got no idea! The number with one chord and all th’ lyrics ’bout bein’ a druggie and whatnot.”

Yeah, that’s Dark Star.

“Can’t make heads nor tails o’ them words! You ask the ol’ Pig, songs should be about gettin’ it on!”

Sure.

“Stickin’ it in!”

Okay.

“I sang me a tune the other night ’bout a woman with a big ass who made poor decisions!”

Which one was that?

“All of ’em! Ain’t no one wants to hear no diamonds refractivatin’ and all that hoodoo! ‘Lady in velvet.’ Who the fuck wants that? Take that velvet off and let the ol’ Pig get sloppy with them titties! Now there’s a song!”

Can’t argue, Pig. Got any plans for Christmas?

“Gonna find me a dark-hued lass and jingle her bells jus’ a little.”

Merry Christmas, buddy.

“And happy Jew-Christmas to you!”

Amen.

Hey, Pig. Whatcha doing?

“I’m playin’ the harmonica f’r Hanukkah!”

That’s very multicultural of you.

“The ol’ Pig counts among his friends those of ev’ry religious persuasion and also some folks what can’t make up their mind.”

You’re no bigot.

“Hell, no! I takes ’em as they come! Met some real decent Jews, met some lousy ones! One stole all my damn money!”

Yeah, sorry about that.

“But a diff’rent one shared her wine with me, and we got t’ hootin’ and hollerin’ t’gether!”

That sounds nice.

“That girl straightened out the ol’ Pig’s curly little tail, heh heh.”

So your lesson is to judge people as individuals?

“That’s it! ‘Less they’re cops. You can pre-judge th’ hell out of a cop!”

You always get it right, buddy.

“That’s what they all tell me!”

Hey, Pig. Whatcha doing?

“Aw, you know the ol’ Pig. Drinkin’ my wine an’ singin’ the blues!”

Sure.

“Don’t got too much t’ be blue about, tho! Got me a free shirt.”

You’re at Duke, huh?

“Harvard o’ North Carolina! That’s what ev’rybody keeps tellin’ me, anyway. I don’t know too much ’bout that. The ol’ Pig never did take too well t’ school.”

Weren’t much of a student, huh?

“Couldn’t see no need for most of it! Brought me down, man! I go to history class, an’ the lady’s tellin’ me all about Napoleon. I got my own problems! Let Napoleon take came o’ hisself! Wouldn’t mind meetin’ that Josephine chick, tho. Heh heh.”

She was something.

“My math teacher tried t’ tell me that Pythagoras got a theory! I told that ol’ teacher that I got a plenty o’ theories, but I don’t bother teenagers with ’em!”

Good point.

“Only one I liked was Miss Worthy. Taught me Second Grade. Fine woman! I would show up early jus’ to bang out her erasers!”

You had a little crush on her?

“Yes, I did! So I gave her my rap!”

Did it work?

“It most certainly did not!”

Can’t win ’em all.

“No, but I show up f’r every game!”

You’re the MVP, buddy.

“Most Valuable Pig, yes I am.”