What is “the Mescaline Show?”

5/11/78 from the Springfield Civic Center in Springfield, MA.

What’s so civic about centers anyway?

Don’t do that.

Why is 5/11/78 called the Mescaline Show?

Because the Dead took mescaline that night.

Really?

Probably. I mean, that’s the accepted story.

Is it true?

No idea. At this point, it may be an unprovable fact.

Oh.

But they were all totally on mescaline.

Why do you say this?

Just listen to ’em. They’re goofier than a sackful of Texans.

Are Texans known for being goofy?

Not normally. But when you bag them up, they engoofinate.

What is mescaline?

It is a drug that other people have taken.

Where does it come from?

It is made out of the desert.

What are mescaline’s effects?

Cliched dream sequences involving Native Americans, uncontrollable growling during Motown covers.

How is mescaline different than a Constellation-class starship?

In many critical ways. Size, for example. Warp capability, for another.

Are the youth of today experimenting with mescaline?

No.

Should they be?

Probably.

I feel like we got a lot accomplished here.

You shouldn’t.