• Fourth branch of government.
  • Instructions for Parcheesi.
  • Map to Benjamin Franklin’s gold.
  • Map to Aretha Franklin’s house.
  • Warning not to let Florida become a state.
  • Ruling on whether it’s pronounced “gif” or “gif.”
  • Crossword puzzle.
  • Official declaration that Tuesdays are for tacos.
  • Plain-language explanation of the Second Amendment that would have cleared so many things up.
  • George Washington dick pics.
  • Non-aggression pact with the three alien species (Cat People of the Felis Empire, Vogons, Space Canadians) who helped write the Constitution and later interbreeded with many of the Founding Fathers.
  • Donor Rap.