I just assume every attractive woman ever photographed with Mick has banged him. Why wouldn’t you? That’s one you tell your grandkids about.

“Wook, it’s Winda Wonstadt.”

You would be so interesting to talk to if you knocked it off with the accent.

“Yaw th’ one wivva ak-sent. Oi speak wivva Queen’s Engwish, Oi do.”

You’re unbearable.

ALSO

Who thought Linda was Mick for a couple seconds? They’ve got the same haircut, and Mick would absolutely wear her outfit.

O, those celebrities and their lithe thighs.

“Oi have no idea ‘oo this is.”

Carrie Underwood.

“Oi would.”

Well done. You just do these duets so you have a chance to hit on these women, right?

“An’ cross-demographic marketin’ concerns, but mostly you’re right.”

Good to know. Her name is Carrie and don’t mention American Idol.

“Fanks.”

No one needed to scroll down and find this. It was wrong of me to include in the post. Your anger is justified, and I suggest you take your business to some other Grateful Dead-themed website that goes weeks without mentioning the Dead. I’m ashamed of myself.

I can make this right.

Y’know, thinking about it: Keith’s cock does not make it right. I don’t know why I originally believed it would. Again: all of this is my fault. You shouldn’t have to sit through such silliness. You’re better than this.

Careful, Mick. I think she’s a druid or something.

“Utter bosh, that is. Wuv-wee wedhead.”

What if you just imitated an American accent?

“Well, hello dere. I be–”

NOT A BLACK AMERICAN ACCENT! It’s not 1971 anymore, man.

“We ‘ad sev’ral numbah one ‘its where Oi pretended t’ be a black man.”

I know them all by heart, but still.

“Fink.”

Think? Think about what?

“No, I wuz callin’ you a fink.”

Ah.