Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Three days after the bidet was installed in Front Street, Billy had to be lured off it with cocaine; he had been enjoying it loudly for three days.
“Hey! Everybody! C’mere and lemme tell you how good my asshole feels!”
And so on. Also, it had been installed in the parking lot and the neighbors were threatening to call the cops. The plumber was called and the incident was never spoken of again.
If asked, Bobby would regale the room with stories about his formative years in Chapel Hill. He had done both his undergraduate and graduate work there, started a family, begun an affair with the divorcèe that ran the bowling alley: it was a life.
If you brought up the fact that Bobby left high school to join a rock and roll band at the age of sixteen and none of that could possibly be true, he would sic Otis on you.
Also: Heineken.
Also also: newspapers and pay phones.
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