Tag: health

Hey, Better Care Reconciliation Act. Whatcha doing?

“Dying.”

Yeah.

“‘Yeah?’ That’s it? Where’s your sympathy? What kind of country just leaves a bill to die in the street like this?’

Sorry, buddy, but you had a pre-existing condition.

“This isn’t right! I’m a human being!”

You’re not at all.

“Still, I deserve better than to be abandoned just because I don’t have the political support.”

Not seeing the irony here, huh?

“I’m Republican; we don’t get irony.”

Sure.

“What happens to me now?”

There’s a farm upstate where all failed bills play together all day. The Equal Rights Amendment is up there. You’ll hate her.

“I don’t deserve this.”

No, you deserve worse.

• Weather balloon
• Softball left outside all winter.
• One of those globes with a bar inside it.
• Puppy. (Large breed.)
• Full-grown dog. (Small breed.)
• The prostate of a much, much larger man.
• Ostrich egg.
• That boulder Indiana Jones had to run from in the first movie.
• The Salton Sea.
• Kim Jong Un’s head.
• 9-banded armadillo rolled up into a ball for protection.
• One of those cheeseburgers that you get for free if you can finish it an hour.
• BB-8.
• The Matterhorn. (This one’s not a joke. Motherfucker actually said “Matterhorn.”)
• Happy Fun Ball that is only one of those three things.
• Enormous tiny thing.
• Miniature enormous thing.
• Dyson Sphere.