TotD pays tribute to the ancients, and follows the laws they have handed down in his celebration of the Days Between. Since time immemorial, we have observed the birth and death of Jerome H. Garcia. For thousands of years, the holiday made no sense at all, but then Garcia was born and soloed and died, and everyone was all, “Oh, now I get it.”
This is either the fourth, sixth, or twenty-first day of the Days (I have stopped counting) and as custom dictates, today we remember Garcia’s fuckability. Not the loophole fuckability he retained as a rich and famous rock star until his death, but the objective fuckability of (parts of) his youth. Garcia’s Window of Fuckability* was from the regrowth of his beard in ’70 or ’71 until 1978; the window was briefly closed in ’73 when he shaved. (Garcia without his beard is like Superman without his cape.)
So on this Day Between, please join me in giving praise to Fuckable Garcia.
Do you even hear yourself any more?
Yeah, this one was creepy, huh?
Little bit.
Am I saving by being self-aware about it?
Not at all.
No, huh?
No.
…
Look at Garcia’s hair, though.
He looks cool as shit.
Right?
Notice how I didn’t say “fuckable” like that was an appropriate thing to say about another human.
I noticed, sure.
*Everyone has a sliver of their lives when their appearance and attitude intersect favorably, and cause one to become fuckable. For some, this window might last decades; for others, it may be limited to the hour spent walking around the parking lot of a Judas Priest concert in a zebra outfit.
You weren’t really a hat guy.
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