Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: les claypool

Ace Of Bass

Hey, Bobby. Whatcha doing?

“Hanging out with my new buddy, Les Maddox.”

Half-right.

“Gregg Maddox.”

You went the wrong way.

“Les Nessman.”

That is not Les Nessman, Bobby.

“Then why is there tape around his desk?”

That is Les Claypool, Bobby. He plays bass.

“And how.”

Hell of a bassist.

“He does that thumpity-bap stuff. Gets all four fingers involved; thumb too. All kinds of wild noises emanate thereof. It’s a scene.”

The man’s got his own style.

“Yeah, I keep finding those kind of bass players. Him, Lesh, Wasserman…they don’t play the instrument correctly. And, uh, I always enjoyed that.”

You even played with Jaco Pastorius once.

“Oh, yeah. That fellow was something. I was thinking about asking him to join Ratdog.”

Why didn’t you?

“Caught him going through my wallet. And, uh, we were on stage at the time.”

Jaco had a lotta personal problems.

“Yuh-huh. Y’can’t have that on the bus.”

No.

For The Benefit Of Mr. Barlow

bobby-chimenti-sean-lennoothers

Hey, Bobby. Whatcha doing?

“Group shot.”

Yeah.

“Benefit for Barlow. Hospitals are expensive.”

Better than the alternative.

“Depends on your level of Buddhism, I guess.”

I have zero Buddha-nature. I have Daffy Duck nature.

“I can see that.”

How many of these people can you name?

“I could give ’em all names, if I wanted to.”

No, I meant their actual names.

“Ah.”

“Well, there’s Ramblin’ Jack.”

Of course.

“Other folks.”

There ya go.

“Wait, wait. That’s my keyboardist.”

And his name is?

“I stopped learning their names three or four keyboardists ago. You get attached.”

Sure. Keep going.

“Is the guy on the end Sir Paul McCartney’s daughter?”

Yes.

“Okee-doke.”

Question.

“Is it about the shirt?”

It’s about the shirt.

“It’s me.”

Yeah.

“And it says ‘STFU.’ That means ‘Stop Talking, Focus Up here.'”

It doesn’t.

“Then my daughters are messing with me again.”

Probably. Baller move wearing a shirt your own face on it.

“Victory Lap, man.”

Oh, no capitalizing.

“Billy got to capitalize Summer of Skank.”

It’s October. Summer’s over.

“Nope. Fall of 2016 is officially the Bob Weir Victory Lap.”

Dammit.

“I should probably steal the Earthroamer.”

Yeah, okay.