Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: lockn festival (Page 2 of 2)

Neither Of Us Are Rappaport

mickey billy lockn rocking chair

  • This is the worst Neil Simon play I’ve ever seen.
  • When Billy wears that shirt, he feels like a lion.
  • Rudimentary research pegs the can as a Bold Rock Hard Cider.
  • We’re doing cider again?
  • Did Goodwife Jenkins pulp it herself, in between bouts of accusing people of witchery?
  • How about grog?
  • We bringing back grog, too?
  • Cider.
  • Kiss my ass with your cider, modern society.
  • What’s with the cider thing?
  • It’s getting drunk off of rotted apples: it’s how donkeys in a field get drunk.
  • You think humans are better than donkeys?
  • Good point.
  • Last word on the cider: it is sitting next to Mickey’s flask, and that is a fact that I deliver with no commentary.
  • Billy, on the other hand, could be drinking anything out of that cup.
  • Maybe it’s a superfood smoothie he had Benjy prepare.
  • Maybe it’s Everclear mixed with Coors Light, which Billy refers to as “a Randy Travis.”
  • It is, in fact, a Mr. Pibb.
  • Billy loves the Pibb.
  • TotD must here express surprise and disappointment with Mickey: except for the well-made and stylish hoodie with the Steali embroidered in the hood ($140), he hasn’t worn FTW stuff.
  • In fact, this is the ninth or tenth go-round with the pale blue Rhythm Devils number this summer.
  • The rocking chair isn’t helping matters, if we’re honest.

Live From Virginia

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These last bunch of shots have been from the Lock’n Festival currently being inflicted on a field in Virginia; Bobby is playing with Billy and the Kids as we speak.

Below is a shot of Bobby, Billy, and the Kids working out an arrangement or two before the show. Fun fact: this is more rehearsal than was done for the Dead50 shows.

bobby billy trailer rehearsal
Also, Buckethead’s brother, Jiffy-Pop Head, is playing guitar.

You could listen, I suppose.

I Think I Met You At The Phil-Out Tent

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This is from last night’s VIP Late Night All Star Rockin’ Eve presented by Peter Shapiro and sponsored by Cialis. (“Get your cock in at Lock’n!”) A small number of lucky fans got to see Phil (and Bobby and I think the other two, probably) in an intimate setting. By “lucky,” obviously, I mean “culturally/societally/financially lucky” rather than “raffle ticket lucky” because in honesty, you could be the unluckiest mush in the world and get in that tent if you had a few grand.

Obscure joke of the night: the guitarist on the right looks like an Ancient Egyptian woman.

Also: while we make fun of Mickey for wearing any free garment he can get his hands on, that jean jacket looks awful familiar.

Lockn’ Lol

This is Saturday's lineup at
I’ll see you there, right? Highlight of my year: pooping in a Virginia field in September. Sleeping in a tent next to humping strangers, eating while I stand up, Warren Haynes: man, this is gonna be great.

TotD is not particularly fancy. I slept on a couch last month, but it should be noted that it was a leather couch in an AirBnB in a rapidly genritfying neighborhood. My living situation is allowed to be scruffy, but it must be permanent; I will not sleep under a nylon roof. Camping is just not for me.

Jews and camps…

Anyway, if you’re there or going or streaming it or whatever: have a blast, but I will be making love to my air conditioner. I do have some random thoughts, though:

  • Fishbone’s still around? Didn’t half of them get thrown in jail for kidnapping the other half?
  • Will Robert Plant be not playing Zep songs at the crowd again? Those fuckers at the Grammys rewarded him one time for not playing Zep songs and now all he does is not play Zep songs. Fuck that guy: play Zep songs.
  • Did anyone ever answer Robert Plant about the remembering laughter thing?
  • No Umphries? What the fuck, man.
  • Once again: fucked by Peter Shapiro.
  • I think Peter Shapiro’s in love with me the amount he fucks me.
  • I mean, the String Cheese Incident is gonna be there, so that’s awesome.
  • But, no Umphries.
  • Was Billy’s departure and Phil’s arrival worked out between the two camps as to not have them in the same place at the same time?
  • Just asking questions, man.
  • But, if so: you know Billy put Benjy on the phone to handle it just to be a dick.
  • Can you see Jill and Peter Shapiro pushing the phone back and forth at one another?
  • “You do it.”
  • “This is what you get paid for.”
  • “I don’t get paid enough for this.”
  • And so on.
  • Again: just asking questions.
  • Man.
  • Steve Earle is the musical version of The Wire.
  • Decipher that how you will.
  • WAIT: Billy is playing with Jefferson Airplane on Friday right after Phil!
  • Fun.
  • Also: Jefferson Airplane sucked. In every incarnation and in every way, and they are celebrating their 50th anniversary in a pasture in Virginia instead of a football stadium.
  • They’re not even headlining.
  • (Although, this group of musician is so far way from being the actual Jefferson Airplane that it includes G.E. Smith, who is still performing despite having the worst case of Les Palsy known to man.)
  • Hey! You got your String Cheese in my Doobie!
  • Hey! You got your Doobie in my String Cheese!
  • Well, you should probably just throw the results out, as it will surely be terrible.
  • Is Michael McDonald even going to be there, or just the guy who looked like he was the lead on WKRP?
  • The Oh Hellos, you go to your room and don’t come out until you’ve thought up a good band name.
  • You, too, Slightly Stoopid.
  • In fact, Slightly Stoopid: go fuck yourself with your deliberately shit band name.
  • Put some effort into life.
  • Mickey just announced that he would be playing with Bobby on Saturday night, and if Bobby doesn’t play Lost Sailor, I will lose all respect for him
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