Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: mickey hart (Page 38 of 71)

China, Cats

mickey bobby dj
“Mickey?”

“Yeah, Bob?”

“Did the hat and shirt come with a copy of Mao’s Little Red Book?”

“Funny. You know I went to Lazy Frank’s House of Inappropriate Blouses.”

“Sure. Me, too.”

“But?”

“You just look like a teacher from Wangxie province whose Red Guard students have accused of counter-revolutionary thinking.”

…

“Wangxie probably isn’t a place.”

“Wingbang?”

“Bob.”

“Fushan?”

“Please stop…yeah, actually. I think that’s a place.”

Mickey Gonna Mickey

mickey cowbell schmuckFiled under “Of course he did” is this Mickey update: while Bobby and Billy teamed up* with his daughter and Trixie to get inducted into Madison Square Garden’s HoF, Mickey gave a speech at the Skirball Center in Los Angeles that degenerated into a drum circle, because Mickey has turned every event in his life (including funerals and evacuations) into drum circles.

Mickey also fucked around with his cowbell, wore a Dead shirt, and sported a hat that made him look like a schmuck.

Phil was at the restaurant, where the POS system had gone down and all the tickets had to be written down; it was a complete nightmare. Also, Phil travels with Jill and, since reading the book, Jill becomes cataplectic with rage at the mention of Billy.

* TotD’s spies report that there was a friendly and laid-back jam with the two Grateful Deads and Trey. It went so well that at the end of the session, Bobby invited Trey to join the Grateful Dead.

Park Life

IMG_1585
I could make some sort of half-hearted attempt at going left to right, or concocting some sort of ludicrous rubric, but let’s just agree that there will be skipping all over the place and the drummers will be discussed at length.

  • As with all of the other pictures from this photo shoot, Mickey will be playing the part of “Cocaine Jones.”
  • Dammit, Mrs. Donna Jean: stop beguiling me.
  • Some people will say you shouldn’t advertise another brand in your own publicity. Those people probably also think you shouldn’t wear a sweatband so high up on your head that you look like a pineapple, so fuck ’em and their opinions.
  • “Just keep walking, Dwayne. Don’t make eye contact with the crazy honkies. Just keep walking.”
  • Is Billy holding a beer? There’s no can there, it seems. Does Billy unconsciously carry a tall boy of Coors around?
  • What did Keith know and when did he know it?
  • Mrs. Donna Jean’s hair is longer than Mickey is tall.
  • I mean, they’re all equidistant from the camera, so it’s not perspective doing that to him. (They are on a slight slope, but Mickey’s clearly one of the Wee Folk.)
  • He is the day’s potato salad champion, though.
  • Actually a photo-realistic painting, this piece entitled The Last Days of Garcia’s Fuckability is on exhibit at the Museum of Modern Terrible Dead Art (MoMTDA).
  • The motorcycle boots with the slightly flared jeans, the dark aviators, the complete lack of accessories: Garcia brought his sexy to the park this day in 1977 and, judging by the historical record, left it there.
  • Did they have to do that with Keith literally in between them? Was the pole-climbing the climax of this exchange:
  • “Bet I can climb that pole all the way to the top.”
  • “Why you always braggin’ on yourself, Bobert Weir. So unattractive.”
  • “I’m gonna climb that pole, Mrs. Donna Jean.”
  • “Yeah? And’ I’m gonna watch you climb.”
  • “You gonna watch?”
  • “Yeah.”
  • “You like to watch me climb poles in the park?”
  • “Climb any pole you want, sugar.”
  • Were Keith conscious, he would be crying.
  • Sticking with the two of them, it is odd how–even in daylight–Bobby and Mrs. Donna Jean’s lighting seems to be better than everyone else’s.
  • “Take a walk through the park, Dwayne. It’s a nice day, Dwayne. There won’t be a gang of hippie CHUDs there, Dwayne.”
  • Two things you shouldn’t do in white jeans: climb light poles in parks, and wear white jeans at all.

BONUS LIST!

Acceptable Reasons for Mickey’s Appearance:

  • Bit part on Starsky and Hutch.
  • Cocaine.

The Core Four And Some Other Guy

IMG_1586They didn’t use to fight. I mean, they hit each other and screamed epithets at the Road Crew and drove luxury cars into one another, but they didn’t fight fight. There were drunken arguments that escalated to Billy trying to curbstomp Bobby (true, pg. 110) and sometimes it came down to pistols at dawn, but nothing simmered.

Things were different back then, though. Everyone didn’t have their own team of managers and lawyers and Benjy Eisens telling them how much more important he was than everyone else.

Everything changes; nothing lasts.

Also, Billy’s hair looks like Neil Diamond’s 80’s bouffant wig had sex with a werewolf.

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