• Not a fan of banana pancakes.
  • Despite the fact that Florida is full of face-eaters, Trump voters, and (for half the year) Canadians, it has one truly great feature: with no warning, generally in the afternoon at the day’s hottest, the sky will turn pitch and open up with great cataracts and sluices of rain, and there will be terrible thunder and lightning, and you can hear the sound of flippity-flops fippity-flapping on the street as the tan and naked run under awnings; ten minutes later, the sidewalks will be dry.
  • A two-hour nap that starts at 5 pm is a terrible idea, no matter what your overall sleep schedule is.
  • Every single take about the National Anthem irritates me, every one.
  • The Detroit Lions’ head coach is named Jim Caldwell, and holy shit does that man not look like a Jim Caldwell.
  • Although, the Lions also have a coach named Jim Bob Cooter, and he looks exactly like he’s supposed to look.
  • 635818140135827631-cooter
  • See?
  • I hate the New York Football Giants with all the bile in my spleen, and I wish a comet would hit the coaching staff in their faces, but they won today and will probably go undefeated and win the Super Bowl.