Okay, Enthusiasts, contest time. Got a new, fun question for all you Rock Nerds out there: What song’s verse should have been its chorus? You know how Rock songs work, right? Opening bit, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus solo, chorus, rehab. And the chorus is supposed to be the most exciting part. Your verse, that’s your log flume; and your bridge, there’s your bumping cars; but the chorus? That’s your rolly coaster right there. The chorus is what puts asses in seats, but sometimes things get all topsy-turvy in the recording studio and all the boner gets put in the verse instead of where it belongs.

An example:

Hear the verse? It’s all propulsive and forceful and nipple-hardening–there’s a Passion Killer on the loose, for fuck’s sake!–and then the chorus hits you like a swirling toilet of Queen-based harmonies. Where did Passion Killer go? Did Jeff Leppard ever get to touch her? She was the only one about whom he could make such a claim, at least according to Jeff, and I think we can trust a man wearing leg warmers over him leather trousers.

Another:

Quell tragique, mon Enthusiastiques! They build up such momentum during the verse–dig that crazy wah-wah pedal–and then the chorus hits WHAM like a brick wall of boredom. The verse could be a tune off an early Mott the Hoople record, but the chorus is cribbed from a late Air Supply album. Also: holy shit, these guys used to be the Bay City Rollers? Learn something new every day. Usually, the something is more useful, but we work in the dark in this life. Also also: white Gibson double-neck PLUS Rickenbacker bass for the win. Also also also: I can’t tell if the lead singer is cute or if he has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

Your task is in front of you, and I know this is a toughie, but goddammit I believe in you.

And I believe in America.