rnc – Thoughts On The Dead

“Let your persistence overcome her resistance,” is awful dating advice.
The average number of police officers killed by illegal aliens per day is not 800.
Despite what she said in her speech, Melania Trump did not free the slaves.
Nor is she Iron Man.
President Obama is not the most racist president we’ve ever had: he is, at best, second.
Hillary Clinton has not vowed to introduce legislation outlawing Jesus.
Ted Cruz does not actually care in the slightest about LGBT rights.
The Jews have not “stopped” draining blood from Gentile children; they never did that in the first place.
Loretta Lynch is not a werewolf.
Climate Change does exist, and it is not caused by Mexicans.
Scarlet Begonias is not a John Mayer song now.
No Constitutional amendment to force citizens to have abortions has been proposed.
Tiffany Trump was referred to as a model, whereas she should have been called a “model.”
There is no such thing as the Congressional Medal of Genius, which means New Gingrich could not have been awarded one, let alone the six he claimed.
NATO does not stand for Nazi Atheists Taking Over (America).
A Vice-Presidential nominee is not allowed to declare war on Spain.
President Obama is not in league with Lucifer.
Nor is the president himself Lucifer.
Reading, PA, is not currently under Sharia law.
Lesbians cannot transform into dragons.
Hillary Clinton has been accused of no crime that would make her eligible for the death penalty, nor is that penalty administered via defenestration.

rnc highlights

Puma deliberately released into women’s bathroom at arena.
A former and future porn star called Hitler “inspiring.”
Candidate’s daughter Snapchatted her speech to only 79 likes.
A senator appeared in blackface.
The keynote speaker, a Baptist minister, ended his speech by viciously penetrating a watermelon with a Hillary Clinton mask on. (First he was wearing the mask, and then he placed it on the watermelon.)
A game show host called Bill Clinton an “illegal.”
Two Real Housewives engaged in a catfight onstage while a neurosurgeon with a visible hard-on watched.
Benediction contained the phrase “Lord, please strike that no-good bitch down.”
Norovirus outbreak.
Temple of the Dog reunited.
Owner of a sports franchise described in detail his cunnilingus technique.
Delegates from Wyoming ate the delegates from Iowa.
Big city sheriff accused Black Lives Matter as being “the Detroit chapter of the Nazi Party” and received a standing ovation.
Random Teamster allowed to speak on the topic of Puerto Ricans and their laziness.
The reanimated corpse of a Benghazi rampaged through the hall.
Candidate’s son shot the puma that had been released into the women’s bathroom of the arena.

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