- Puppies.
- Puppy-shaped balloon animals.
- Other animal-shaped balloon animals.
- Coca-Cola from the fountain.
- Wearing new socks for the first time.
- The new Dave’s Pick should be announced any day now, I think.
- The smell of grass after it rains.
- The word for that is petrichor, which is a lovely word and therefore is also included in the list of Happy Things.
- In parts of the world, albinos are snatched from their homes at night and hacked to death with machetes; you do not live in any of these places, and that should make you happy.
- The next time you see an asshole weaving in and out of traffic, you should be happy; here’s why: you live in a society in which the overwhelmingly vast majority of people are behaving themselves on the road, and so the one asshole stands out; that you noticed his behavior and marked it as aberrant points to the general politeness of American drivers. (This is not applicable to Boston, as everyone in Boston drives like a complete asshole 100% of the time and there’s no upside to it, and there’s no perspective broad enough to see it as a good thing.)
- Speaking of cars: sometime in the near future, you’re going to get the best parking space.
- A stand of virgin spruce, or a field of sunflowers, or maybe a mountain or something: some nature shit, whatever you’re into.
- Tacos exist, and you can get a good one for cheap.
- Every single End-Of-The-World prediction up until now has been wrong; that should make you smile just a little bit.
- Honestly, if you want to be happy happy, then you should listen to a Dick’s Pick or a ’73 or something; if you’d settle for listening to a Dead show, then 8/27/80 from Clarkston, Michigan is your best bet: it is acceptable.
- Finding money in a pair of pant you haven’t worn in a while.
- Finding money in a pair of pants someone else is wearing, and them not noticing.
- This guy:

- That’s the Shmoo.
- Say it out loud and you’ll smile.
- Go ahead, no one’s listening.
- …
- Right?
- You’re welcome.
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