Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: stoneman

Class Picture

Are you entwined with the teenager, jackass?

“I’m posing coquettishly.”

Josh, I swear to Christ, if you get caught with a teenager…actually, it would be ironic.

“I know, right? They all get away with it, and I get busted?”

Just suck in that left leg, you human bandana.

“No need for that.”

Stop playing footsie with the traumatized children.

“They’re not children, Dude, spaghetti straps.”

I will slap your pretty mouth if you get the Grateful Dead in trouble, Josh Meyers.

“All right, all right. You wanna check on Billy, though.”

Oh, God. Billy?

“I’m surrounded, Ass.”

Oh, God. Just breathe, man.

“30 years ago, this room would’ve looked like a chicken coop after a fox got done with it.”

Well, it’s not 30 years ago. You’re old enough to be their grandfather.

“Skankfather.”

Do NOT call these girls skank!

“No. No skank. Not here.”

Good.

“Not yet. But I see some potential in at least three chicks.”

Holy shit, dude. Not okay. All of you need to keep away from–

–OH, COME ON!

“I stole him away from Josh. Look at him. He’s dewy.”

I need ALL OF THE GRATEFUL DEAD to move away from the teenagers.

“It’s okay, it’s totally cool. I got his parents to sign over custody to me. I legally adopted him.”

You pulled a Steven Tyler?

“Alternately, a Ted Nugent. But, uh, yeah.”

Everything about this is in poor taste.

“The heart wants what the heart wants.”

Just go help Bobby up.

Shirt Buddies: The New Class

Bobby?

“What the hell is happening?”

Settle down, big guy.

“Are we The Temptations now?”

No.

“Four Tops?”

You are not any Motown act.

“We’re all the wearing the same thing.”

Right. It’s to honor the kids from the school with the thing.

“Ah.”

That’s a good color on you.

“White? A little racist of you.”

The shirt, Bobby.

“Sure, sure. Guy named James Perse made ’em for us. Two hundred a pop.”

You got a deal.

“Mickey knew him.”

Right.