Do they mean “Brazil” when they say “Brasil?” Are they different places? Soccer and tushees, right? Brazil. Why are they spelling their own name wrong? Is South American public education so poor that BraZilians can’t even spell basic words in Spanish?

You might have noticed that TotD has not–even obliquely–mentioned “football” or this little tournament they’re having. There is a reason, and it is this: fuck soccer. The only way this game could be interesting is if they armed the goalies and had all the games in Florida, allowing for a Stand Your Ground situation.

This will be the last you hear about this so-called World’s Bowl. I will not even ask which team’s mothers brought the orange slices and juice boxes.