작은 감자

“We’re back on the Radio Randy Show right here on SiriusXM’s GD Channel. All day, all night, all Dead.”

“Did you think that up?”

“No, that was our jingle guy.”

“What’s his name?”

“Jingle Jeff.”

“Ah. Well, uh, tell him ‘Good work’ from me.”

“That’ll mean a lot to him.”

“Is he a Deadhead?”

“No, his family was just eaten by hippos. He could use any compliment right now.”

“Hippos are a danger.”

“Bobby, how’s the tour going?”

“It depends on when we are, Randy.”

“Early 70’s.”

“Then, uh, the tour’s going real well.”

“Was there a show you liked in particular?”

“Green Acres always made me laugh.”

“Have you found your keys yet?”

“No. And, uh, that’s going to be a problem. You can’t hotwire a Tesla. Although, you know, I do have Elon Musk’s phone number. He could probably unlock the car from his phone.”

“Bob?”

“Yes, Radio Randy?”

“You are going to remember to bring me back to 2018 with you when you go, right?”

“Fingers crossed.”

“Doesn’t fill me with hope.”

“Have you tried Buddhism?”

“Lets take a call.”

“Sure.”

“Hi, caller, you’re on with Radio Randy and Bob Weir.”

“Bob, we need to talk.”

“Hey, Josh. Why are you, uh, captioned?”

“I’m also on Snapchat.”

“I have no idea what that is.”

“Because you’re in the early 70’s?”

“No. I’m never gonna know what Snapchat is. Trust me on this one.”

“Okay. Bobby, listen: the new nickname is not cool.”

“Little Potato?”

…

“Oh, THAT you can remember!?”

“Well, it’s real catchy.”

“Dammit.”

“And, uh, descriptive. You’re little, and you’re like a potato.”

“First off, I’m 6’3″.”

“Only when you’re standing.”

“And how the fuck am I like a potato?”

“You got eyes.”

“Everyone has eyes, Bobby.”

“Probably taste much better with salt and butter.”

“Everything tastes better…can we just not call me that?”

“I’m not the guy to ask. It’s kinda, you know reached the zeitgeist, I guess you could say. Everyone’s heard it by now.”

CALL WAITING NOISE

“I think that’s us, Radio Randy.”

“Call Waiting doesn’t exist when we are, Bob.”

“Yeah, I know. We brought it with us.”

“That makes no sense.”

CALL WAITING NOISE

“Just press the button, Randy.”

“Gotcha. Hey there, caller.”

“Let speak to Tiny Potato Dick.”

“Hey, bro.”

“I’m not your bro.”

“Look where am. Potato everywhere. Like you.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“No can get Kim Jong-Un down. Killing it this week, bro. Everybody love Kim.”

“No, they don’t.”

“Soon Only Korea will rejoin with Not Real Korea and Kim be in charge of all. Everyone thank. Have big party. Get Rod Stewart come and play hits.”

“Rod Stewart?”

“Only Korea love Rod the Mod.”

“I’m hanging up.”

DIAL TONE NOISE EVEN THOUGH PHONES NO LONGER DO THAT

“Radio Randy? I still here. Have question for Bob.”

“Sure, caller. Go ahead.”

“Bob?”

“Yuh-huh?”

“When you bring back Brother Esau? Is my jam.”

“That’s a good idea. Maybe, maybe.”

“Kim Jong-Un having best week.”