A Flip Through Guitar World Magazine

• Wow, they still make magazines.
• Why?
• Ad.
• Ad.
• Ad with Annie Clark, which is nice because girls did not used to be allowed in Guitar World magazine unless they were undressed and humping an amp.
• JESUS SHIT FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT SUBSCRIPTION INSERTS!
• They just fell out and scared the shit out of me; God, I hated these things.
• A Nuno Bettencourt interview?
• What year is it?
• Oh, Christ, and Steve Vai, too.
• This is the same fucking magazine I read in high school.
• And here’s the longread on the Scorpions.
• Article about the NAMM show with a picture of HOLY SHIT what happened to Al Jourgensen?
• 
• Never get old, kids.
• Then there’s the back-of-the-book stuff with little lessons and some tablature.
• For the non-guitar players: tablature is to transcription what transliteration is to translation.

Okay, so here’s why I got the damn thing:

And it’s written by Blair Jackson, co-author with FoTotD David Gans of last year’s oral history of the Dead This Is All A Dream We Dreamed, so he should know what he’s talking about. I will now react in real-time to his list.

1. No.
2. Absurd.
3. Maybe.
4. Absolutely not.
5. Is this a joke?
6. Yes.
7. This should have been number 14.
8. Oh, wait: it’s in chronological order.
9. Playing and Bird Song from Veneta, but no Dark Star from the Berkeley Community Center on 8/24?
10. There’s an ad in the middle of the article for something or other, and Slayer is in it: Tom Araya weighs 300 damn pounds.
11. Evil at its roly-poliest.
12. NOTHING from One from the Vault?
13. How dare you, sir?
14. Jihad.
15. I declare jihad.
16. The Black Peter from 10/29/77, but not the Might As Well.
17. Madness.
18. Someone should check on Blair Jackson, and make sure he has not been kidnapped and replaced by someone who makes ludicrous Grateful Dead choices.
19. Dear Mr. Fantasy?
20. Balderdash.
21. I can’t continue; I need a cupcake.