A Lesson Earned

We take our lessons where we find them, Enthusiasts; lessons maketh the plan, you see. That’s all you are: a pile of learned lessons; some that took you years to understand, and others you flashed on suddenly. Some lessons will scar you, but you don’t have to let them. You can learn from others. You can learn from me; I learned a lesson today.

The Democrats would take back the House and the Senate, I believed this morning. Felt it in my boners! Had to be true, Enthusiasts. This was 1992 all over again! To the Twitter machine I hopped and tippytippytapped out my twittytwatty tweet, but I was restrained! Forsworn by the Palm of God! I may have seized for a moment!

Because I did not send that tweet.

Instead, I asked myself a question, and I believe this question to be important and powerful and worthy of sharing with you.

You got any idea what the fuck you’re talking about here, chief?

Make sure to include the “chief.” You want to make yourself uncomfortable. Establish an adversarial relationship with yourself. Maybe work yourself over with a length of rubber hose for a while. Any answer other than an immediate “yes” with a cogent defense of the position will be considered a “no,” including the response “Hey, you do your job and I’ll do mine.”

I was excited about the tweet and there it was: the Palm of God.

You got any idea what the fuck you’re talking about here, chief?

Politics, I said.

That’s a “no.”

Aw.

I was then sad, and my heart festered in mournfulness and being all weepy-faced; as I deleted the tweet, I offered my seed to Gowat, the Master of Rivers and tossed my computer into the swells by the bend of the Waxachachichoochi River. Gowat eats the unused tweets of man, if they are sent along with an offering. This is how my village has done it for millions of years.

Chief?

Yeah?

There’s NO point to this at all. 

I think the lesson about rigorous self-examination is a sound one.

Who the fuck is Gowat?

He’s the Master of Rivers.

Go watch a movie or something.