Jeff? Buddy?

“Can’t talk right now. Piano’s broken.”

No noise coming out?

“None at all.”

Lower your hands about 18 inches.

“Oh, that’s much better,”

Yeah. You okay?

“I decided to try some of this fentanyl all the kids are talking about. Packs a wallop.”

Please don’t take fentanyl, Jeff Chimenti.

“Makes you feel so warm. It’s like wearing a coat on the inside.”

Uh-huh. Stay away from the opioids.

“You’re not my father.”

I guarantee you that your father would tell you not to use synthetic heroin.

“Probably. He was old-school. He was an immigrant, y’know.”

What was his name?

“Waluigi Boyardee Chimenti.”

That doesn’t sound right.

“Proud man. Worked as a fisherman on the North Shore. Him and my mom raised the three of us right.”

Three of you?

“Me, and my brothers Vince and Dom. I was the only one who made the big leagues of the jam scene. Dom had a cup of coffee with Widespread Panic, but he just didn’t have the chops.”

You’re talking about Joe DiMaggio’s family.

“I am high as shit, man.”

Not a great talk, Jeff.