Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

And We’re Wearing Sunglasses

santa clara bruce
Bruce.

“Hey.”

Bruuuuuuuuuce.

“Right, sure. How are you?”

The glasses, right? Right? I get it, man: I get it.”

“Okay. What?”

Yer fuckin’…yer glasses, man. Fuckin’ glaaaaaaaasses. Hornsby hidin’ his eyes and shit, cuz they’re all, like huuuuge and shit, right? Brahj? back my shit up, Brahj.

“What?”

I bet if I touched you, I’d be totally tripping balls and shit cuz that’s how acid gets from person to person, man.

“No, that’s how pink-eye gets from person-to-person.”

RIGHT, MAN: pink-eye. I get you: fuckin’ piiiiiiink eye. Say no more.”

“Yeah, I probably should have said strep.”

Streeeeeeeeeeppppp.

“Could someone call Parish out of retirement?”

3 Comments

  1. Boogaloo

    What the shit is this skin to skin warning they conveniently never taught me in high school? These are the kind of lie that makes Baby Jesus cry.

    Just how many Walmart Greeters does it take to dose an entire nation anyway?

    • sprucebruce

      Proof

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