Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Assorted Thoughts On Dead & Company’s CNN Hit

  • Almost instantly, Mickey begins misbehaving.
  • He may, in fact, only be upright on that couch thanks to the liberal application of duct tape.
  • There’s a handsome guy who works at CNN named Bill Weir, and when Andy Cohen mentions him, Bobby gets real confused for a second.
  • Anderson Cooper does not listen to the Dead, nor does he seem to much care for these filthy wretches.
  • I just looked up what AC listens to, and it is probably inappropriate to call it “homosexual music,” but it is.
  • Although the other AC is similarly inclined, and he has decent taste in jams.
  • (Andy Cohen is an outlier, though; let’s be honest. There are, like, three gay guys who don’t like shitty music, and two of them are in Husker Du and the other one’s Steve Silberman.)
  • Have you finished being insulting and offensive?
  • Dude, you can’t hear what I say in the parentheses; there are rules here.
  • The rules are made up, don’t matter, and shut the fuck up.
  • I shall ignore you and claim that I won the interaction.
  • Jeff and Oteil have not been given microphones.
  • That’s just hurtful.
  • Just give ’em dummy mics.
  • You don’t even have to plug the fuckers in.
  • They wouldn’t have said anything, anyway; Jeff and Oteil know their place in the organization.
  • And neither is schnockered.
  • Twozzled.
  • Legless.
  • Mickey is drunk enough to get thrown out of bars with Harry Nilsson.
  • Billy, speaking for the first time, says that the Dead lived in Haight-Ashbury in 1972; both Jeff and Oteil recognize this as incorrect, but stop themselves from saying anything.
  • Mickey is wobblier than Eugene Debs.
  • Mickey is more plastered than the Sistine Chapel.
  • Mickey is so loaded that Doug Yule wrote most of him.
  • We get it.
  • THE BOY’S TURNT!
  • I thought you were dying?
  • Oh, right.

6 Comments

  1. ritchie vanian

    who woulda thought that the Dead would be featured prominently on a NYE 2020 show! it was amazing!

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    Nice ‘lil demo
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YLXAjb2HNP8

  3. Meryl Shakedown Streep

    Damn dude you’re a little ornery – infection go to you head?

  4. Carlos

    Jesus man, keep it together, obviously according to the precise English language it is ‘were’ in husker du not ‘are’ as the band is not together anymore. Happy new year!

  5. wtfwjd?

    I was interested to learn that Billy is a *component* of cannabis legalization. I had no idea.

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