“Now, uh, tell me what you’re showing me here.”
“It’s a hat, Bobby.”
“Uh-huh. Smart hat?”
“For one sense of the word ‘smart.’ But for others, no.”
“I’m asking about Bluetooth.”
“No.”
“So how does it connect to my watch?”
“It doesn’t.”
“Interesting. How vegan is this hat?”
“None.”
“Not at all?”
“Literally everything on this garment comes from a dead animal.”
“Well, you know: I admire consistency. If my sister-in-law–”
“Lillian Monster.”
“–asks, tell her it’s made from tofu or something.”
“Gotcha.”
OMINOUS HONKING NOISE
“Bobby, is your Tesla staring in the window threateningly?”
“Uh, yeah. It’s gone full chaotic evil. I gotta take it in to the shop.”
I kept telling Bob to get a hat with a wider brim – he would look better in it.
Pith helmet’s where it’s at Bob.