Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Brown Muddy River

ark_38305_g4hh6j2x_is_1Oh, why have you brought me to this evil place, Wook of Wisdom?

“This is Rat Cat Alley, my boy!”

I think I’m older than you.

“This is where the dark magic is; where the tour ends while there are still shows to play; where not only is the cheese not kind, but it has not been grilled at all!”

So, we’re in Hell.

“No, just a parking lot full of scandalous white people.”

Worse.

“Kinda. AH! I see our man!”

“THREE FUH TEN! FATTY BALLOONS!”

You dragged me through the mud–

“Oh, most of that was human feces.”

–for nitrous? How is this going to get me home?

“I wanted nitrous. Buy me nitrous.”

You do not have much wisdom, Wook of Wisdom.

“Oh, is that how you interpreted that? No, no: I impart wisdom. I’m kind of a lesson-teacher.”

I hate the 80’s.

“Do the 90’s get better?”

Immeasurably worse.

“Ah.”

8 Comments

  1. Boogaloo

    NO HACKY SACK TODAY FILTHY HIP PIES

  2. maggiemay

    this is why I need my father to walk with me through the Phish lot I’m terrified and I can’t even play hackey sack wookies TERRI FY mE

    • mrcompletely

      That picture looks like the trench warfare of WW1 but was actually a great couple of days in the mud. Lots of fun and no harm done, nothing a long shower wouldn’t fix.

      Def agree that LA Forum lot is a good place to have some backup with you though. Lot scene does have its sketchy side to be sure.

      • maggiemay

        SHEIIIIIT OK IM GONNA HAVE SOMEONE PROTECTIVE COME WITH ME I AM BUT A VULNERABLE YOUNG GIRL FUCK

        • mrcompletely

          All joking and bullshit aside I seriously wouldn’t do an LA Phish show or lot scene alone if I was 15 year old girl. If you’re with friends or family it’s totally safe and will be happy and awesome. Flying solo you might attract creeper vibes (or just weird interactions with people on strong drugs) you don’t want to deal with.

          Don’t mean to trip you out but I spent a lot of time on lot over the years. Less than 1% are sketch but all it takes is one to ruin your night.

      • Rodeoamy

        Solid advice, Mr. C.

  3. Sir Luther Von Baconson

    the stories that Omni (Horizon?) could tell

  4. Sir Luther Von Baconson

    “trevor, why is the interior of the Marquis caked with what appears to be dried raw sewage?”

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