Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Charlottesville: An FAQ

What the fuck just happened?

Nazis started a riot in Virginia.

That sounds like a simplistic interpretation.

Necessarily so. Truth is so often obscured by detail. Many people have been obsessing about this detail and that today as a way of not mentioning the truth, which is that Nazis started a riot in Virginia.

You really shouldn’t go throwing that word around.



Nazis!? Where!?

Stop that.

They were either Nazis, or they all had the same cramp in their right arm. And, you know, the Nazi flags and tattoos and uniforms. Oh, and people wound up dead, which is very Nazi-like.

But they weren’t all Nazis.

Dude, did you just pull a #NOTALLNAZIS with me?

What I’m asking is: do they call themselves Nazis?

Who gives a fuck what they call themselves? NAMBLA called themselves “boy-lovers,” but the rest of us didn’t have to go along with them. Best to call a spade a spade, especially when that spade’s a Nazi. We must be as adamant in our language as they are slippery in theirs. All of this alt-right/white nationalist/ethnostatist/whatever the fuck is just there to obfuscate. This is an “if the jackboot fits” situation.

Okay, fine. Why were they in Charlottesville?

I told you: to start a riot. Same reason they get their speakers booked on ultra-liberal college campuses. They went there to cause trouble.

But they didn’t say that. What was the stated reason?

Ah. To defend a statue of Robert E. Lee.

What’s happening to the statue?

Being taken down.


The treason.

Again: glib. The Civil War was an important event in our history, and you can’t just throw away history.

Agreed. But you don’t have to erect a giant statue of a traitorous slaver in a public park. And again: Lee committed treason. There aren’t any statues of Quisling in fucking Oslo, are there? Besides, these guys aren’t real history buffs. They don’t care about the Civil War so much as the bit before it when it was okay to own black people.

So the Nazis came to defend a statue.

No. I can’t keep repeating myself. They came to start a riot.

Fine, but isn’t the best thing to do to take the high road? Maybe we should just ignore them.

We tried that last time. For, like, all of the 30’s.

How’d it work?

It didn’t. Turns out we should have strangled the baby in the cradle. Hitler even said so.

He did?

Sure. And, you know: you can trust Hitler.

Can we get back to Charlottesville?

I don’t want to go there. Place is full of Nazis.

Can’t some of the blame be put on the counter-protestors?

Sure. Same way the gunshot wound in the burglar can be blamed on the homeowner. These Nazi fucks went to someone else’s home and paraded around with their guns strapped to them while chanting about killing Jews.

And so the antifa have the right to resort to violence?

By “antifa,” do you mean “people opposed to Nazis?”

I suppose.


No one should be assaulted for their beliefs.

No one was. They were assaulted because of their actions. They stood up with a group whose tenet is destruction and murder along racial lines. That’s an action.

But what about the First–


You don’t have to yell.

Don’t be stupid and I won’t yell. The First Amendment was actually upheld in this debacle, as the Nazis were given a permit to march on public streets.

Why are they doing this?

The Nazis?


Because they’re human, so they’re monsters.

What about the people who went to protest them?

They went because they’re human, too.

Three people died.

They did.

Are more going to?

They will.

Why is this happening?

Donald Trump.

That’s a simplistic interpretation.

Truth is so often obscured by detail.


  1. salsedo chris


  2. Dawn

    all true.

  3. Dead_drift


  4. Murray


  5. Bryan Hann

    Did any rally to support the statue and not to start a riot?

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      No. They came to start a riot. This is your fourth comment in a row concern trolling for Nazis, and you should know it’s obvious.

    • Dawn

      well, if so, still pretty bad, right? i mean, not as bad as running a woman down with a car, but rallying to support the celebration of a guy who fought to keep people enslaved. pretty rotten.

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