Hey, Grateful Dead archivist David Lemieux. Whatcha doing?
“I think it’s pretty obvious what I’m doing.”
Fishing?
“Yeah.”
Okay.
“Check this guy out. He’s a chum salmon.”
Are they called that due to their friendliness?
“No.”
What do you like best about fishing?
“Oh, everything. Standing balls-deep in freezing water, being quiet for hours on end, waking up real early. It’s heaven.”
We have vastly different ideas of heaven, Dave.
“David. And don’t forget the ever-present possibility of a bear attack.”
It sounds like a nightmare, honestly.
“What’s not to like?”
Everything you just said. Plus, I like to pretend that animals don’t have to die in order for me to eat meat.
“That’s unbelievably childish.”
So be it. How cold is that water?
“Two.”
Celsius?
“Yeah. But, you know, you double and add 30 to get to Fahrenheit, so that would be 34. No matter which scale you use, the water is basically fast-moving ice.”
Yuck. How did Election Day go for you?
“Great. We both voted.”
Both?
“Salmon have the franchise in Canada. Funny story: they got the vote before our First Nations folks did.”
Sounds right. Can moose vote?
“No.”
Why not?
“Can’t fit in the booths.”
There’s the punchline.
Davis is smiling, the fish is smiling – everything is good!
> Davis
That s/b David. Sorry, David – typing too fast.