- BART BLYFORTH, 31, stands at his mirror oiling up his dick. He is rugged, especially in the dick-area, but can cook and teach children to play Parcheesi. Suddenly, the doorbell rings.
- The ship’s captain is R.R. DABBLE, 29. He is tall and be-penised. Ocean spray mists into his face, which he washes often. He exudes a piquant muskiness, not unlike a really sexy farm.
- The vault door opens to reveal WILL STRONGMAN, 34, who is wearing a jumpsuit so tight you can see his meat. He’s handsome, but he knows it, which makes him both more and less handsome, but even the less handsome Will is very, very handsome. And knows it.
- ANTHONY ABALONE, 25, rises from the bus wreckage. He–
Excuse me.
- –adjusts his perfect cock-and-balls and–
Dude.
- What did I tell you about interrupting me while I’m in the Bullet Points? You shouldn’t even be able to communicate with me. We’re in separate frequencies.
You make no sense ever. What the fuck are you doing?
- Someone collected 50 female character introductions from famous screenplays, and they’re all written by men, and they’re all just dreadful. But the article was very biased and narrative and fake news and SJW.
Stop using all of those terms.
- So I wrote some introductions of male characters as they would have been written by women.
Two things.
- I showed those SJWs and soyboys.
Two things.
Go to it.
JESUS. Don’t do that. Warn a guy.
Jumping from one format to the other?
Very creepy. You just appeared.
Literary fiction can be surprising.
I have two quibbles with your little rejoinder.
Sure.
First: that’s not how women write.
I know. Women write in cursive and use purple ink.
Second: you should be writing about the new Dead book that Da Capo was nice enough to send you two copies of.
Gonna read it again tomorrow and get to it.
Good.
Now: back to the character descriptions!
No. No, you’re done here. This was awful.
I tried.
You didn’t.
2 coMy ToTDpies.
.