Fathers, Be Good To Your Daughters

A long time ago, etc.

“LEIA?”

…

“LEIA? IT IS ME, YOUR FATHER, ANAKIN SKYWALKER.”

PYOO!

PYOO!

“STOP TRYING TO SHOOT ME. I AM A FORCE GHOST. AND EVEN IF I WASN’T, YOU COULDN’T SHOOT ME.”

“Vader? What dark tricks are you up to now? I watched your body burn.”

“RIGHT. FORCE GHOST. JEDI TRICK. I AM HERE TO MAKE AMENDS WITH YOU, MY DAUGHTER.”

“Absolutely not.”

“DID YOU TALK TO LUKE? I WAS REDEEMED IN HIS EYES.

“Luke’s a pussy. Also, you didn’t blow up Tatooine.”

“I AM SORRY ABOUT ALDERAAN. I WAS IN A VERY DARK PLACE IN MY LIFE.”

“You’re sorry?”

“VERY.”

“Nine billion people died, you son of a bitch.”

“LANGUAGE.”

“No. No, not ever do you get to tell me what to do.”

“LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER, YOUNG LADY.”

“My father is Bail Organa, member of Galactic Senate martyred on Alderaan, and a finer man than you ever could imagine.”

“HE IS A TELEVISION ACTOR AND A SPACE MEXICAN.”

“How dare you?”

“FORGIVE YOUR GHOST FATHER!”

“No!”