Everybody wants to fuck fish. But which fish to fuck? You don’t wanna show up a party with a dog of a fish on your arm. People will laugh! So to aid you, the fishfucker, TotD now presents Fish Ranked By Fuckability:
WHALE SHARK Them gals is thicc, and their loving is sweet and warm. Not a great beej, though, due to their mouths being eight feet across. Otherwise: this is a fish you want to fuck.
PIRANHA You’d think not, but there’s a trick: Gotta pull their teeth. Then you stick your booboo in the water and let ’em gum you to completion. Piranha are into group scenes.
FUGU If you don’t fuck a fugu fish right, it’ll kill you. Fugu are kinda like Italian chicks in that regard.
SLIMEFISH Don’t have to buy lube! That’s money in your pocket, and your dick in a fish.
HAMMERHEAD SHARK Just put a bag on their head and do your business.
That’s enough. I should’ve stopped this at the title.
I’m providing a public service.
You’re showing your ass, muchacho.
My brain feels like it has its tongue on a 9-volt battery.
That’s called insanity.
It tingles!
Okee-dokee, buddy.
“It tingles!” This is the quality content that keeps me coming back!
Ahem . . .
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bony-eared_assfish
From that Wikipedia article:
“The bony-eared assfish holds the record for the smallest brain-to-body weight ratio of all vertebrates. Like many other creatures that dwell in the depths of the sea, the bodies of assfish are soft and flabby.”
I think you’ve discovered Basketball Head’s secret identity!
Also, for reals, most of the aquatic food I grew up eating in Souf Cackalacky was purchased here, for those who want their fish to have a declared sexual preference . . .
https://www.yelp.com/biz/gay-fish-company-beaufort
Then there’s https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru. Definitely not fuckable.
Bet this dude has a “Follow me to the Springfield Aquarium!” bumper sticker on his DeLorean
How is it that JES also knows a shit-ton about fish?
Is he that guy that lives for ever from Star Trek?
So much useless material sloshing around in the brain housing group . . . . If only any of it was useful.
(Jeez, and of all the posts for me to have not realized I was logged in under my full real name when I did the prior posts. Sorry about that, clients who found me here by Googling!)
Captain Pike after radiation exposure blinking light .gif
Honestly surprised Trey didn’t make the top 5.
He barely makes top four in the band.
I assume the Mud Shark was ineligible for this competition due to its professional status.
https://youtu.be/DFs5Y1hlN-I
Mom always said “don’t noodle with catfish john in the house”