Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

I Think Stock Would

My father said he was at Woodstock, but he also said he was at Game 5 of the ’69 World Series where the Mets beat the Orioles; my dad said a lot of things.

OR

This is one of not-very-many photos of the Dead playing Ol’ Man Yazgur’s farm on this date 49 years ago, and holy shit is next year’s 50th anniversary gonna be annoying. Get ready for a lot of interviews with Country Joe and/or the Fish.

OR

Woodstock wasn’t Curveball. There was no glamping section, as the portmanteau had not yet been invented, nor was there a free-form radio station broadcasting from the site over multiple media. No webcast, ATMs, sculpture gardens, or pop-up general stores. Also, there was no water, food, or medical staff. It was just a fucking field and no one was in charge and it’s astonishing that everyone didn’t die of cholera. The past was terrible.

OR

“Billy.”

OR

The problems began with the stage. The production crew had built a circular contraption; instead of having to strike and reset the gear in between each band, one could play out front with the roadies set up the next group backstage. When it came time to switch acts, the stage would rotate 180 degrees. Repeat until Jimi Hendrix.

Except, of course, the Grateful Dead brought every amplifier in the world and the back half of the round stage sunk two feet into the mud. Which meant the production crew had to strike and reset the gear. This resulted in a delay of around an hour.

Then came the rain, which wouldn’t have been such a hassle had most of the band not had electrical equipment strapped to their chests. Or literally anything been grounded properly.

And the wind, which–again–wouldn’t have been a big deal had the Dead not strung up a giant sheet behind them for the light show. A giant sheet, Enthusiasts will realize, is also called a “sail.” The stage threatened to tip over before Parish and Ramrod clambered up, Captain Blood-like, to shred the canvas with their knives.

Also, their sound man was the Most Famous Drug Dealer In America, so they were way too fucking high.

OR

Speaking of knives: What the fuck, Mickey?

OR

I’d link their set, but they played Lovelight for 45 minutes and I’m not rewarding that behavior. 45-minute Dark Star? Yes, please. 45-minute Other One? This gives the Deadhead a boner. 45-minute Lovelight? Why do you hate America?

Here’s the only worthwhile performance from that muddy self-suck:

11 Comments

  1. Arbo D

    Looks like the JPB behind Billy.

  2. Paula

    Jesus, yes. Next year is going to be incredibly annoying.

  3. dawn

    you haven’t done “what searches brought people here” for a long long time. oh so long.

  4. Dave Froth

    Yep, “Billy.”

  5. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    Mickey is wearing his guiro sharpener.

  6. Luther Von Baconson

    john sebastian’s filthy glasses.

    The Fragrant Pants of Canned Heat

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v5RWCnmwPM

  7. Luther Von Baconson

    and these guys
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buXULarjzBI

  8. carlos

    Actually mickey’s bowie knife, or buck knife as I would call it, was referenced in I believe a rolling stone article eyewitness account of the springers ballroom gig released as a road trip series from jan 1970 five months later.according to the writer he was using it to chop up cocaine on the plane (bus?) to the gig. a practical implement to have strapped to your waist apparently. Sly’s appearance was fantastic, a bit harsh to say his was the only one. good book about woodstock’back to the garden’ by pete’ fiornellio’?

    • Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

      Get your stories straight. For starters, a “buck knife” is a knife made by Buck Knives.

      • Luther Von Baconson

        “so there we were…..”
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wr60AL3XoHg

      • Carlos

        Wow, thank you for the edification, I did not realize there was a company that made them. Thought it was a generic name. Too bad they are made in the USA, they must be crap.

Leave a Reply to Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine Cancel reply