- Frosted Flake.
- Owner’s manual to a 1983 Buick Skylark.
- That intern who stopped showing up.
- One perfect, fragile origami gorilla.
- All the dryer socks. (Y’know when you take your clothes out of the dryer and a sock is missing? It’s in John Bolton’s mustache. No one can precisely explain it, but the scientists at CERN are pretty sure it has something to do with quantum entanglement and fabric softener.)
- Peanut shells.
- Allen wrench, but not the size he needed
- A copy of tomorrow’s newspaper, which John Bolton uses to aid strangers and prevent disasters.
- Crumb of gorgonzola cheese shaped like Joe Garagiola.
- Booger. (Not from his nose. Booger from Revenge of the Nerds.)
- Another mustache, smaller but otherwise identical in every way.
- The Microverse, ruled by the dread Baron Karza.
- A faded junkie nurse.
- Lots of balloon animals, for some reason.
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
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TOTD has been listening to the Stones again. Outstanding, but I digress. . .