It’s All Downhill Racer From Here

Hey, Billy. Whatcha do–

“Murder Heist!”

Shit.

“Christ, I’ve been ready for some action. You know how bored I was last week? I almost read a book.”

Almost?

“Cranked one out instead.”

Awesome. Why are you at a film festival in 2017 with your son?

“The Murder Heist has gone transtemporal.”

Oh, no. Please don’t use the Time Sheath to steal from the past.

“And murder!”

Please don’t murder anyone at any point in the past, present, or future.

“That’s not my grift on this job.”

I’m almost afraid to ask.

“Gonna kidnap Robert Redford.”

Don’t do that.

“Wheels are already in motion.”

…

Did you dose–

“I dosed the Sundance Kid!”

–Robert…dammit, Billy.

“Gonna give it a couple more minutes. He’s gonna be real suggestible soon.”

And then?

“Straight into my kidnappin’ sack.”

You have a kidnappin’ sack?

“I mostly use it for skank-related purposes.”

Consensual?

“They stop struggling pretty quick.”

Jesus. Billy, please don’t abduct Robert Redford. How is that even part of the plan?

“Above my pay grade, Ass. I steal the pretty boy and bring him to Club Front. That’s all I know.”

This is awful. I mean, it’s nice that you’re spending time with Justin.

“Between you and me? He’s here for parts.”

Wha?

“Redford’s got some serious security. I might lose a kidney snatching him. Or a ball. So I brought all of Justy’s organs along.”

That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.

“Every man for himself when it’s time to Murder Heist.”

I regret this storyline.