Nowhere To Go, Just To Hang Around

Hey, Bobby. Whatcha doing?

“Well, uh, someone has stolen my chair.”

I don’t think so.

“Then explain my current posture.”

You’re exercising, pal.

“Ah. That makes much more sense.”

Is that your barbell behind you?

“Oh, yeah. Deadlifting.”

Deadlifts are done from the floor.

“No, no. Every lift I do is technically a Deadlift.”

I see what you did there. Clever.

“I’m working out my body and my mind.”

Very efficient. What exactly is this exercise for?

“This one’s for the core. And, uh, the armpits. Core and pits: it’s like I’ve finished a fruit salad.”

You look very healthy.

“Got a magazine shoot coming up. Me and Young Josh are going shirtless.”

You sure about that?

“Yes. His name is Josh.”

No, about posing half-naked in a magazine.

“Yeah, I’m good with it. Mostly cuz it’s the top half that’s gonna be naked. If they wanted the bottom half, then I’d have to pass. Full nudity would be fine, but no one wants to see a fellow in a shirt and no pants.”

That’s called the Winnie Pooh maneuver.

“Huh. We used to call it ‘The Billy.’ Matter of fact, we still do.”

Billy does that?

“Yuh-huh. And he likes to put his foot up while he’s talking to you. Like that alcoholic pirate.”

Ew.

“It’s a sight.”