“Dwilliam–”

“Dwight.”

“–your hat is eating your head. I don’t mean to alarm you or anything, but I feel it incumbent upon me to warn you. Your, uh, hat’s eating your head.”

“This is just how we wear our Stetsons where I’m from, Bob.”

“New Hampshire.”

“No.”

“I thought you were from New Hampshire. You have that thick accent.”

“I have, like, the opposite of a New Hampshire accent.”

“Vermont?”

“Just smile for the camera, Bob.”

“I don’t do that.”

“Whatever.”