- Wood alcohol is not the same as grain alcohol.
- Don’t hammer a series of tenpenny nails into your neck/penis/neck and penis.
- Cobras have little to no sense of humor.
- Objects that will go into your ass won’t necessarily come out.
- Never count your money at the table ’til the dealing’s done.
- Don’t throw children into rivers.
- Avoid wearing red or blue in South Los Angeles; orange or green in Northern Ireland.
- Carousel horsies are not fuckable.
- Actual horsies are not fuckable, either.
- Don’t tickle Garcia.
Don’t offer your dick to Billy. It will get punched.
This story connects some dots for me. I had an ophthalmologist appointment this morning. Googled the name of the place for directions. It has the word eye in it. When I typed “eye” Google wanted to complete it with “eye tattoo”. And I questioned the judgment of today’s youth. Glad I was wrong.