• Oh, now it’s a party: Sheriff Clarke whipped out his nacho hat.
  • Don’t you love how we’re not even pretending to be decent humans anymore?
  • I just saw the Trump sons turn into bats and fly into the bar.
  • Yes, I do agree that Charles De Gaulle was one of history’s greatest monsters, Ms. le Pen.
  • Jesus, Ted Cruz took his skin off again.
  • That’s the third guy I’ve met with “Neil Gorsuch” tattooed on his dick.
  • Lick my filth and join with me in M’naa-K’ah, the forbidden sex magicks of Klingon perverts-priests
  • Lick my filth, I said.
  • There is a perfectly valid reason that women get paid less than men: they don’t have to wash their dicks, so they don’t need to buy as much soap, so they don’t need to get paid as much; the left doesn’t understand arguments based on logic.
  • Are you going to the ICE raid? They’re taking the hotel’s head maintenance guy. He’s been here 26 years. They’re gonna do it in the lobby so we can watch; it’s gonna be fucking awesome.
  • If I gotta hear Laura Ingraham sing karaoke to Springtime for Hitler one more time, I’m gonna go nuts.
  • You dosed Seb Gorka? I dosed Seb Gorka. Jesus, how many people dosed Seb Gorka? We should check on him.
  • Guys, you CANNOT bring the tiki-torches in the elevator when they’re lit.
  • Where’s Donald’s Busy Bee? Oh, God, where’s Busy Bee? If he doesn’t have it, he’ll start tweeting. Where’s Busy Bee!?
  • If Jesus came back right now, I bet he’d be pretty fucking impressed.
  • Vice-President Pence. Mother Pence. Your chamber has been…prepared.
  • After the teachers, we should arm the students. Even out the odds.
  • Ben Shapiro is riding an adult-sized Big Wheel around the halls of the hotel like the kid from The Shining, and it’s freaking people out.
  • It hadn’t occurred to me that Hillary might be directly responsible for the Parkland shooting, but now that you bring it up, I believe it fully and without question.
  • Hail victory.