• Is God dead?
  • The New York Times said that God was dead, but I head from a guy that the Times was lying and failing, so what gives with God?
  • Or has He merely retracted His protections from us?
  • Holy shit, are we Collective Job?
  • Was Idris Elba ever actually cool, or was he just handsome and fooled us?
  • What, if anything, will Judi Dench and Ian McKellan not do for a paycheck?
  • Was there any doubt that Taylor Swift would be in this?
  • Does Jason Derulo shout “KITTY!” before all his numbers?
  • If those redneck slimeballs at the Trump rally were shouting “SEND HER BACK” about Rebel Wilson, would anyone have had a problem with it?
  • Can we send ICE after her?
  • And James Corden, too, please?
  • Don’t we have enough unfunny fatties that were born here?
  • We have to import unfunny fatties?
  • Jennifer Hudson is at an 8; can she bring it down to a 4?
  • Is T.S. Eliot screaming from the great beyond, “I WROTE OTHER POEMS, ASSHOLES!”?
  • Does the “T.S.” stand for Taylor Swift?
  • Honestly, what is this fuckery?